It’s no news to me that autistic children have been
murdered by their parents, as have non-autistic children, and when they are,
they are frequently given lighter sentencing (because their child was
autistic), and shown great sympathy by the media, who praise their actions as “mercy
killings.” Karen McCarron, an Illinois
mother of a non-verbal autistic daughter, killed her daughter in 2006 and was
sentenced in 2008 with thirty-six years in prison, thirty months of supervised release after
her prison term and a $25,000 fine. The
media praised Karen, however, saying she was brave to kill her daughter because
she “might not have had a good life.” This
argument is used by mothers who get abortions, yet the politicians (particularly
Conservative Republicans) and the media, especially in the last few days with
the elections being held, demonize these women as murderers and
child-killers. But when a child that is
unequivocally a living thing is murdered, assuming they are autistic, the media
and law makers give them sub-standard sentences and sympathy. Recently, two autistic boys, not even ten
years old, were murdered by the people they should have been able to trust the
most: London McCabe, seven-years old, by his mother Jillian, and Jude Mirra,
eight, by his medical entrepreneur California mother Gigi Jordan. For this, Jordan was given twenty-five years
for manslaughter, while Jillian is held on $1 million bail until her court date
on November 12. Jillian has also been
justified by her supporter under the notion that he was mentally ill.
It
saddens me to see these boys lost. They
were younger than any people I have ever known or met to have died young,
including twenty-year old college students who I danced with at a school
formal. While the media
1. While the media praises “courage” of these
non-verbal autistic mothers, they show no respect for mothers of non-verbal
autistics who gave their children all they could to have the best possible life: Seriously, there are non-verbal autistic
whose mothers (and fathers) respected that they had great talents and gifts to
give, in spite of the fact that they would never meet conventional markers of
success, including Brooke, the daughter of autism mother and blogger Diary of a Mom, Emma Hope, and Amy Sequenzia. I know many of these mothers myself and they
are willing to sacrifice everything they have worked for so their child can live with the best possible life. Ignoring these mothers while praising Jillian
and Jordan is an insult, as if saying it is more courageous to murder your
autistic child than showing them love and support to lead whatever the best
possible life is for them.
2. McCabe and Jordan did not make the most human choices for their son, and there were
plenty of others out there: Even if they could not have handled the stress
of raising a non-verbal autistic child, there are others who could who would
have been happy to raise these boys. Autism organizations worldwide spoke out on the murder of London,
stating how before his death, many other parents were willing to adopt
him. The media honors these two mothers
for instantly jumping to the most violent and life-threatening solution.
3. The phrase “mental illness” does not
justify murder: When mentally ill people such as Elliot Rodgers and Adam
Lanza from the Santa Barbara and Sandy Hook shooting murder non-autistic and
older people, we do not tolerate that. Jillian McCabe and Gigi Jordan should be no different.
4. And for one fourth fact: How will Jillian
and Jordan’s life after their children’s death compare to the life their
children will now never know: Jordan’s
(and possibly Jillian’s) sentencing, though not near what I would have liked it
to be, will include over two decades of prison, with possible jail rape, abuse,
and physical and emotional torture. Not
to mention the fact that they are both now parents who have lost their own
children. I know many of these
parents. I have stayed up crying
countless nights for their own well-being, as well as my own. They and their children have gone to my
schools, my temples, my workplaces, everywhere. Many never recover and have later contemplated or tried suicide. That Jordan and Jillian thought the pain of
losing their child would be less than the pain of their children as they never
make it to traditional markers of success shows me how little they care about
them. And the fact that they were
willing to face the cruelties of prison life over living in a world with their
sons shows me they deserve them even more. These events have prompted such a passion for all autistic people in me that the day after I
heard about the first one, I wrote on Facebook with a link shared to the murder, “Let me just say to everyone now that if you ever abuse, neglect,
discriminate, intimidate, harass, or malign an autistic of any background, in
any capacity, for any reason or for any cause, I wish for no connection of any
type to you, whether they be professional, romantic, platonic, or even
electronic. Let me also say to anyone who has endorsed, promoted, or
manipulated the idea of "autism awareness" in any way: that the mere
phrase "autism awareness" is not a term for which I will instantly
consider you harmful, but if you are to be connected to that phrase in any way
possible, I consider the burden of proof to be on you that you and your efforts
have gone beyond the bare minimum to respect the concerns, issues, respect,
dignity, equality, feelings, and integrity of every single, solitary person who
is in any way, shape, or form a member of the autistic community.”
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