Sunday, April 5, 2015

A Letter to Myself

After feeling my efforts to start an autistic community in Warrensburg were going so underappreciated by many, I made myself a bracelet from tiles cut out of a beer caddy, each with symbols autistics themselves had suggested for autism, and I wrote a note to myself saying,

Dear Ben,

I wanted to thank you for all you have done for the autistics at UCM and in efforts for the benefit of the autistic culture and liberation everywhere. You have been a pioneer willing to take on ...the worst challenges with little support or recognition. You have persevered under the toughest challenges, and, though you may not think it, your actions are beginning to take root. No one could have possibly taken things further from where you started. At times, many people have been given recognition in the world of autism merely for their looks or their well-established reputation, which people automatically seem to judge the work they do by. You however, have stood for autism, even when the message you brought forth was not popular. You persevered through thick and thin, never gave in to pressure, strove for what you believed was right, and spent hours of exhaustion and uncertainty for people you wished to make strong, empowered people with a culture of their own. Because of you, the autistic world now has many new innovations, such as the thriving autistic community at JCCC, the Autistic Liberation Dharma, the autistic porcupine symbol, the eco-autistic movement, and the Friend of Autism Pledge, and I wish to give you this bracelet of tiles with the autistic symbols from some of the greatest minds in the world of autism, has ever seen, as well as your own. Your granddad also wishes to thank you for the work you have done, and for your earnesty, wisdom, dedication, and sacrifice for the good of autistic kind. Thank you.

Love,
Ben

 

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Thoughts of My Own on the Perception of Autism

A moment of your time on Autism Awareness? Many autistics, and I myself have been and still find myself in this situation, spend every hour of every day-at work, at school, at home, even with our families-trying to pretend we're "normal." We must concentrate every ounce of effort we have not put into the jobs, families, and work we already struggle in due to lack of accomodations, to avoid doing anything that might sell us out as autistic. That means flapping our arms, being blunt, avoiding eye contact, and even mentioning about a novel we read last night for fear it show our "special interests." In short, we spend all our remaining energy trying to blend in with the crowd, and then people come along-celebrities, high management autism organizations, parents, politicians, frat boys and girls all meaning to do the right thing-and tell people to be aware of US. And we're told constantly and constantly by the same people that if we don't learn to look neurotypical-using eye contact, avoiding stimming, etc.,-we'll never get a job, go to school, get married, have children, or lead a fulfilling life. We strive harder then ever to look like we're "normal" because the puzzle piece symbols tell us there's a missing piece to be found of us before we can belong. Anywhere. And so autism is presumed by the do-gooders to be some troublesome child who's a constant wreck because that's what gets the numbers up-people afraid their career, their home lives, and their marriages will be ruined because of a child we've already been taught we were, and act so hard not to be. And since we, or none of us fit this image, we may as well be presumed to be neurotypical, or basically almost so because we've had ABA, or are high-functioning, or whatever, just so do-gooders can let the people know those they now fear aren't doing their behaviors to be rude. But God forbid that us "high-functioning" people or ABA graduates should ever stim, avoid eye contact, or have their own interests. We are considered "too evolved" to do these things, not because we do them to help us process sensory stimuli which are brains are already hard-wired to receive differently. And we by no means are capable of speaking for the "low-functioning" community, let alone our own selves. We're afraid to get help, many of us just to stop painkillers the next day, so we can live our lives healthily and comfortable, while still expressinng our own identity. So I ask you, will you, next time you think you're going to do us right as victims and not humans, think of reaching one individual at a time, to be empowered to be his or her own self, and forget this idea that the most attention-getting messages or people are the ones who spread the most progressive attitude towards the masses, and think about what you want for us, not FROM US. We commonly are too complacent or uncritical to examine the conventional wisdom of our approaches to problems. We think if we just let the river flow our boat downstream, not noticing where it's going, we will arrive in the safest place, and all will be better for everyone. Well if you down row upstream, honey, and watch where you're going, the river might well lead you to a waterfall that you'll bring us all down with you.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Thoughts of My Own on the Language for Autism

A note on person-first language: I have heard you don't say "an autistic person" because you wouldn't say "the fat man" or "the short boy." Well, maybe I wouldn't, but that might be because I'm sensitive like that. Anyho, if that is the case I want to hear terms like "the man with racism" or "the girl with promescuity." Why don't I hear those? Because in this culture, those things are shamed, not just the behaviors, but the person doing the behaviors. Whereas obesity, sh...ortness, and other physical ways of being, we want to not shame the person (most of us anyways, I hope) but the way of being itself. But why is that? Is it because we believe these people are lazy or they'll never date the popular girl in school? Well, if you look at autism, you see that we have all these sorts of preconceived notions about them. They can't lie, they're good at math, they can't understand sarcasm. And it's this limited way of understanding that takes away their humanity. So what do we do? We detach autism from them, rather than our prenconceived notions about what autism is like for them. In our obsessive person-first language culture, we continuously associate autism with negative stereotypes-they'll ruin my marriage, they can't learn to communicate-myths perpetuated by society and various organizations such as Autism Speaks. If we view ourselves that way, it's because we've learned to hate ourselves because of discrimination and stigma. You think we'll learn to love ourselves by teaching us to disassociate with part of who that is. You insist on saying "person with autism" so we know that's not the only part of ourselves. This shows your neurotypical sense of superiority by implying we aren't smart enough to figure that out for ourselves. It is the stigma of autism, perpetuated by the stereotypes autism makes you think of, that makes us feel low about ourselves, and by not acknowledging that, you choose to be part of the problem.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

My Autism Acceptance Day Post 2015

For me, and thousands of my friends in the fold of the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network and Autism Women's Network, we view April as Autism Acceptance Month. To many there might be some confusion as you may have heard some call it Autism Awareness Month. For us, we have changed it to Autism Acceptance Month because we feel while "awareness" tends to imply a passive pity for how autistics "don't fit in" acceptance means an active role... of refusing to be people who autistics cannot fit in with. Whereas Autism Awareness Month and a Day on April 2nd has focused on blue lights and puzzle pieces, Autism Acceptance Month focuses on reading poetry by and celebrating autistics, along with art, blogging, positive, unhumilitiating storytelling, and often donating to groups where you see openly autistic members in at least a third of their highest leadership giving the bulk of their funds to services allowing autistics to reach their highest potential and showing a balanced view of autism's strengths while respectfully respecting our challenges, bearing symbols like a rainbow infinity or a multi-colored pie chart showing that while autistics are diverse and part of a larger picture, it is a picture that naturally goes together to make a unified image with no beginning and no end. Double palms are also acceptable symbols, indicating many autistics need to flap their hands to self-regulate while still paying attention to those around them. We operate within a diversity model of disability and pan-disability culture, where all are responsible for any message they send.

I helped spread the word from the window of my dorm, with a sign that says, "Wear Gold for Autism ACCEPTANCE Month April 2, 2015/Gold=Au, Autism Acceptance, Beyond Awareness, and changed my profile picture to that. I also put up signs, one representing hand-flapping; one arm-flapping-two movements done to self...-regulate; one of two people embracing, representing autistics search for connection, like the logo of the National Autistic Society in the UK; one an infinity, representing the fluidity of autistic abilities, rather than being fixed; a brain with butterfly wings that I drew months earlier, along with my Autistic Pride sign, all done in black ink. 





 
I put out on the door of my dorm, in addition to my Autistic Self-Advocacy Network of Kansas City poster that I drew a few months ago, I put up an autism pie-chart logo, a design created by autistic Andrew Lerner, with four slices, one blue, one yellow, one green, and one pink, making a peace sign; with white eyes, the left one with the letter A and the one on the right with the... letter S for Autistic Spectrum or Asperger syndrome; while at the top it reads, "AS PIEces fit in piece." Its colors and pieces represent diversity within the autistic community only, unlike the puzzle piece symbol, they fit together naturally to make a coherent symbol. Along with it is a paint slip with various shades of gold for Autism Acceptance Day's Light it Up Gold as the chemical symbol for gold is Au, the first two letters of the word autism, which I made at a UCM Pinterest party, each part with a place where I might be at the time along with a white button on a red paper clip to point to them, red being for Light it Up Red, created like LIUG in response to blue lights used to raise money from pitiful images of autistics.


I made a cross drawn with blue in the background with rainbow stars along it to represent the autistic blue rainbow stars ribbon created by autistic Carol Ann Acorn (and its also Easter season), along with three drawings: a mandala (Buddhist-Hindu meditation image) that is a representation of Turkey's whirling dervishes, which I hung because of autistic activist Lydia Brown's long-time interest in Sufi music and dance; a triskele, an Asian symbol with three curved lines going the same direction in a circle, with one segment green, one segment red, and one segment yellow-the colors of ASAN's and the Autism Network International's color-coded communication badges, each corresponding to how comfortable you are talking to people at their meetings; another "mandala" that was inspired by a Moroccan tile design with various colors representing the diversity of autism, but diversity that is fluid and makes a complete natural picture, and it also has a yin-yang symbol in the middle representing how autism's existence as a disability and a difference exist in balance, and helping the disability should not be disrespecting the difference; along with a mandala thatis based off a kaleidoscope design, also with various colors representing the same thing, and how diversity of autism, or functioning labels, depend a lot on one's point of view, and it is a picture that can move around a lot, and it also has in it the shape of an eight-rayed star the symbol of the Men of Gondor in The Lord of the Rings, who represented honor and nobility.





 

Today for Autism Acceptance Day, I wore an Autism Acceptance Month t-shirt everywhere I went at UCM and in Warrensburg, that says, "Acceptance is Action," showing I'm not going to hide from who I am regardless of how others might think. Also, in honor of the various movements created in response to blue lights, Light it Up Gold, gold's chemical symbol Au being the first two ...letters of the word autism; Light it Up Red; Tone it Down Taupe; and Light it Up Orange, perhaps because orange is the color of the Celebrate Autism Foundation's autism spark symbol, I wore on my left wrist my red Buddhist prayer beads that I made from straws a year ago, which I don't normally wear; on my right wrist an orange bracelet that I made from cutting an orange bag along the sides and spinning the length and a gold paracord bracelet I made, especially considering Warrensburg is the home of an airforce base; on my neck my Lucky Buddha Beer bottle cap lockets, which are red, from the beers my dad gave me last year for Easter; and on my hoody I wore a gold ribbon pin, which used to be a puzzle piece ribbon, which many autistic's object to due to the idea there's a "missing piece" of them or they need to be put together, at I took apart, turned inside out, colored with a gold sharpie, and glued it back together; my pants today were taupe; and on my shoulder was a red bag, with other gold paracord bracelets I made to give to people for this day. I wore my grey UCM hoody instead of my regular blue hoody, and I made a commitment not to avert stranger's gazes as I walk past them or avoid interaction with people to avoid questions, and will go to eat in town to show this shirt to all I can. I also wore on my wrist a tile bracelet made from cardboard, with one an autism pie-chart symbol, a half-transparent butterfly symbol used by the Hidden Wings autism organization, a blue ribbon with rainbow stars created by autistic Carol Ann Acorn, an autism rainbow infinity symbol, a blue and white infinity symbol used by the Metis in Canada, rainbow scribbles representing "beautiful chaos" by autistic James McCue, the orange spark from the Celebrate Autism Foundation, and a porcupine symbol I created, representing autistics ability to defend themselves against larger groups without being aggressive, their affection even if they don't like physical contact, and the quills representing their voice even if they cannot speak. Through this, I plan to get the word out. Happy Autism Acceptance Day everyone!

 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Why Autistics Don't Respond Well to the Puzzle Piece

You know that guy. She holds up a sign (to describe being autistic) saying, "I'm not a puzzle. I'm a person." with a red circle and line through a puzzle piece. He puts the word "Aspie" against a rainbow background for his cover photo. Basically, the point is, she does not like the puzzle piece being used as a symbol for autism. But where does this disdain come from. I'd like to point out that first of all, it isn't just the idea that we autistics have a missing piece to us that needs to be found, but the idea that we need to be put together for us to be whole when in fact we were never broken. We do need help sometimes, yes, but that help should be aimed at trying to fix how society and culture accommodate autistic needs on par with our neurotypical counterparts, and not us. A second point I want to make is that the puzzle in fact makes it look like the different pieces of the autistic communities are these separate, fixed categories that do not change over time, the idea of an autism spectrum, but instead of being a linear spectrum of black and white, autism is more of a cyclical spectrum and a continuum of every shade in the color wheel, that a person can cross from one side to the other, with no beginning and no end. Third, there is the idea that the autistic community needs to be "put" together, when, in fact, we already fit together not like a mismatched jigsaw puzzle, but like a rainbow. Rather than being some shattered mass, we are actually a singular matter that cannot be broken. And yes, the autism puzzle piece is a fairly familiar symbol that people associate with autism, just as the Chief's native American feather mascot is a fairly well-known symbol people associate with Native Americans, but like with the puzzle, that does not make this symbol a force for empowerment of its subjects rather than archaic, decontextualized, stereotypical way of thinking about outsiders. Rather than using the puzzle piece, we need to start using more empowering symbols for the continually maturing autistic youth population. Perhaps a rainbow infinite, or a rainbow septagram like the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network uses as their logo. I like the idea of a porcupine, which is small but can defend itself against larger predators without being aggressive, just as while the autistic community are a minority, we can together look after ourselves with the help of our allies. Truthfully, no one symbol can fully unite the autistic community, but I think choosing an alternative to the puzzle piece would in fact change the tide of autistics from a tone of fear and pity to a tone of empowerment, respect, and dignity.

 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

National Day of Mourning Post 1: Nine Steps We Can Take to Make Autistic Lives More Valued in Our Culture


Today, March 1, 2015, is the Autistic and Disabled Communities National Day of Mourning. It is usually a day to hold candlelight vigils in honor of disabled people who have been murdered by their caregivers. When this happens, the parents and caregivers often receive lighter sentences by the courts, if any at all, based on the idea that parents should not be given the same sentence for murdering a disabled child as they would a non-disabled child, and the media portrays the murders as a justified act claiming their child was a burden on the lives of their caregivers.  In the past year, more and more autistic children have been murdered by their parents including 6-year old London McCabe and 8-year old Jude Mirra. The local Kansas City chapter of the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network that I belong to was planning to hold a vigil this day that I was going to come home for, though due to technical issues, they had to cancel it, but I want everyone to know that just because this vigil has been cancelled, that does not mean that this day has lost its meaning to me.
                Today is also the day that two students on my campus, 20-year Erin Hook and 19-year old Jennifer Reeder, were killed in a car wreck. When we lose someone we love, or whose lives were important to us, we want their lives to be respected by those around us. Therefore, I realize we as individuals need to take steps to alleviating the notion of autistic people as burdens, and see them as people who should be respected for their inherent merit and character without needing to be changed to the same respect we ourselves enjoy, and who are all able to contribute to our society. We can make that change in perception by changing the way we speak, treat, and view autistics. I believe by following nine basic steps in treating autistic people, we can change the way their lives are valued and how people treat them, and these steps are:

1.       Exchange the term “Autism Awareness” for “Acceptance,” “Inclusion,” or “Rights.” Autistic people are not burdened by the fact that so few people know about our weaknesses or the trouble we are said to give to others, but by them not knowing our value to society and abilities. Awareness tends to paint a picture of children causing their families stress by their needs rather than people of all ages who can give a lot to society if given the appropriate opportunity to do so.

2.       Let’s stop using terms like “high” and “low-functioning.” We need to stop grading autistic people based on their ability to get good grades, go to college, and live independently. They have a lot more to offer than that.  Everything that an autistic can give should be valued and we need to judge them by the individual merit of their actions and not their abilities.

3.       Let’s move away from therapies such as Applied Behavior Analysis. ABA has cost thousands of dollars and hours of therapy trying to rid autistics of behaviors that should be accepted such as stimming and avoiding eye contact. Eye contact has been shown to not be essential to communication (how would blind people communicate then), while dozens of autistic activists have pointed out that stimming helps them self-regulate, express emotion, and tune out distractions. Amy Sequenzia once said, “If it helps them, it’s not ABA.” Let’s stop treating autistic people as if they need to be changed to be accepted.

4.       Let’s use identity-first language instead of person-first language. Identity-first language (autistic person), as opposed to person-first language (person with autism) implies that autism is a part of themselves and not some part you can get rid of. We need to stop thinking we can do that when autistic people do not please us. It also implies autism and personhood are mutually compatible. We wouldn’t say “person with blackness” or “person with Buddhism.” If an autistic person you are talking to would prefer you use person-first language, as some do, then you should use it, and you can ask them which they prefer, but it depends on the person.

5.       Let’s stop using the puzzle piece to represent autism. As many of us have pointed out, the puzzle piece implies that autistic people are to be put together, rather than already whole themselves. It suggests that their diversity of abilities is linear and that they fit together separately when in fact, our range of abilities is more cyclical, where one person can go from the other end at any time, and that we fit together naturally like a rainbow, making one complete picture. More empowering symbols include the rainbow infinity, a butterfly with “hidden” wings, a pie chart, rainbow stars, and an infinity on a heart with wings. No one symbol can unite all the autistic community, but as we get older, we need symbols that are more empowering and less infantilizing. 

6.       Let’s stop portraying autism as a medical disaster that causes havoc on societies and families. The idea that autism is more prevalent now than ever before only makes sense when one ignores the increase in professionals able to diagnose autism, the increased number of parents and teachers aware of and looking out for autistic signs, the more individuals and families willing to admit to autism in surveys, the increasing number of adults being diagnosed with autism, and the increased criteria for autism diagnosis. There is no science to it whatsoever. 
The idea that more boys are autistic than girls only holds up when one ignores that girls are frequently undiagnosed because autism manifests itself less in ways that stick out in girls. Girls have learned to blend in naturally perhaps partly due to the media and television Such as House Bunny, Mean Girls, and Legally Blonde) telling them what girls “are supposed to be like,” whether a beauty queen, popular girl, cheerleader, Greek sorority girl, and so on.
We also need to stop saying that an autistic child makes his/her parents more likely to get divorced. Former Autism Speaks executive Alison Tepper Singer claimed on The Oprah Winfrey Show that if you have an autistic child, you are twice as likely to get divorced (You can figure that one out). A study done in junction with the Autism Society of America and Easter Seals concluded that divorce rates of parents with autistic children were around the same to slightly lower to those of parents without autistic children. Connecting autism to divorce is simply a scare tactic by groups such as Autism Speaks, the National Autism Association, and the Autism Research Institute to raise money for biomedical research, executive salaries and expenses, and advertising with little going to services to help autistics who need it this very moment. 
Let’s also stop using face value number statistics such as “the cost of taking care of an autistic person over his/her lifetime is $3,200,000.” This may seem like a lot, but when divided over eighty years, it is about $40,000 per year, about the cost of a non-autistic person.”

We need to also stop portraying autistic people as criminals. Reports of Elliot Rodgers and Adam Lanza have shown that there was no correlation to their actions at Santa Barbara and Sandy Hook respectively, and statistics indicate that autistic people are less likely to commit crime. We might also point out that nearly all the world’s mass murderers-Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, and Mengistu-were neurotypical, so perhaps we should connect that to genocide.

7.       Let’s stop expressing sympathy towards parents who murder their autistic children. If mothers like Julian McCabe think it would be harder to see her son London not live up to conventional measures of success than it would for her to be able to see her son London again, then I don’t think she cares about him very much. I know of several parents of non-verbal autistic children who don’t murder them who never have sympathy expressed for how they are willing to give their child the best possible life at any cost. I also know several parents who have lost a child, and their lot is not an easy one. Many never recover, and some have even contemplated suicide. Julian McCabe, on the other hand, was willing to go to jail, albeit shorter than she should have been in it, in order to rid this world of her son. No evidence has been found for her to be mentally insane, apart from Dr. Phil’s “armchair diagnosis,” which did not excuse Elliot Rodgers and Adam Lanza from their actions, and in any case, most insane people do not commit murder. 

8.       Let’s listen to the opinions of autistic voices. All of them. Unedited. Acting on their own behalf. In their own context. The whole variety. Verbal and non-verbal. Autistic adults have been the ones making awareness of the fact that autistic people can feel empathy, have careers, get married, and be a part of society. They are frequently inspirations to autistic children and have as much, if not perhaps more so, to offer than the so-called licensed professionals. Autistics such as Temple Grandin, John Elder Robison, Dawn Prince-Hughes, Naoki Higashida, Amanda Baggs, and Daniel Tammet have all helped us immensely to understand how the autistic mind works, and other younger-generation and not-so-famous autistics can give us the same insight to. It’s time to really listen.

9.       Let’s be careful of the “Autism” groups we invest in. More than we like to admit it, so-called Autism organizations really are acting for themselves. Autism Speaks is the only autism organization that could have no autistic members on their board, provide most of their money to executive expenses, genetic research, and advertising instead of autistic services, compare autism to a car wreck, being struck by lightning, or cancer, AIDS, and diabetes combined, support dangerous fringe movements such as the anti-vaccine movement and the Judge Rotenberg Center, fire a mother for claiming her autistic son wasn’t given on the job accommodations, block legislation to lessen the gap in autism services for girls and minorities, divide autistics using labels like “high-“ and “low-functioning,” and call themselves the voice of autism. This group is now sponsored and promoted by groups, celebrities, and businesses wanting to look like they are doing good such as Home Depot, Dollar General, Yoko Ono, Alpha Xi Delta, and others. Instead of being the grassroots organization most people associate it to be, co-founder Bob Wright used his media and business connections to reach all these groups, but it didn’t just happen in a vacuum. The public jumped on the bandwagon, donating and pledging tons of money to AS, which its sponsors took as good incentive.  By turning away from groups like these, we send their sponsors a message. Even liking them on Facebook should be avoided because it sends the message to do-gooders that Autism Speaks is doing good. On the smaller educational-youth culture level, students looking for publicity and fame slap the name “autism awareness” to step up campaigns to get elected to student positions using autistics low status for their own, when in fact their records will show that they haven’t done anything constructive for the autism community, and their campaigns will give know information apart from their popularity, while grassroot autistic student initiatives go undervalued as people think they’ve done their part. 
If you want to know what is going on with these, you can look at Facebook pages such as Boycott Autism Speaks and their website boycottautismspeaks.com, who will keep you up to date on their list of sponsors and actions you can take to mitigate their effect. My basic message: be aware of who you’re giving to and express your intentions in a constructive, well-thought out way, making autistic’s representatives accountable for their deeds. These steps may not get rid of all murders of autistics to come, but I guarantee they will honor the autistics who have gone and the loved ones we know who would have suffered the same thing in another parent’s hand. This is how the autistic world will remember you. Listen to me, and together we can solve the real puzzle of why courageous, honest, hard-working, decent individuals go underemployed, undertrained, underutilized, and undervalued.  We must act righteously, speak righteously, or be destroyed righteously.  Will you all take this challenge?  Will you be a champion?

Peace,
Ben Edwards

Saturday, February 14, 2015

10 Phrases Everyday Autistic People Are Tired of Hearing


Part of the beauty of being an autistic person is you get used to hearing stuff that is just plain rude.  God forbid a person with Asperger syndrome should speak bluntly or share things with someone that are inappropriate, but some of the offensive stuff said to us is never talked about by neurotypical professionals who want to show how socially challenged autistics are in comparison to everyone else.  Some things I hear (over and over and over again) are said by the most well-meaning of people, but if I weren’t so understanding of them and their social conditioning, I’d never wish to see these people in my life.  Here are some examples of the sorts of phrases presumed to comfort autistics that we hear on a constant basis in our lives.
1.       Apart from your autism, I think you’re a pretty terrific person. Ok. So basically, you’re still saying one thing: I can never live up to the same measure of a good person as someone without autism. If that’s how you see me, I no longer wish to know you.

2.       At least you’re not like retarded or have cerebral palsy. Yeah, it’s really refreshing to hear ableism combated with more ableism. And in saying this, you’re basically saying you only appreciate my autism in measure with other disabilities, which, according to you are much worse.

3.      I don’t care about your imperfections. I like you just the way you are. Thanks, but I don’t need constant reminder of my imperfections. Would you think it sounds endearing to a person next to you in the elevator to remind them of their bad breath, or to tell the family at the next table that they’re being too loud? Should I maybe say to you, “I don’t mind that you’re an arrogant, ignorant human being. I think you’re great.”

4.      You’re pretty amazing. I really can’t tell that you’re autistic. Seriously, imagine being a foreigner, in a new country that you’re not familiar with (like we feel like), and someone says to you, “Wow, I couldn’t tell that you’re an American. You’re so in shape and knowledgeable about the outside world.” Basically, reducing autistic traits to anything other than those of a presentable, likeable person isn’t going to make us feel more comfortable. And to be liked, I can’t express something that is a part of myself.

5.      Have you heard of Temple Grandin? I have. I think she’s amazing. Congratulations.  You’ve taken Autism 101. Have you ever heard of other notable autistics such as Lydia Brown, Amy Sequenzia, Nick Walker, and Paula C. Durbin-Westby? No. Why not? Because no news outlet ever talks about them, is the usual response. Ok, great. You’ve just demonstrated to me that your only source of autism information is the mainstream media that has been perpetuating autism stereotypes and myths for generations.

6.      Don’t worry. There are people who have it much worse than you do. Honestly, we know that. But how is the fact that someone in Kenya doesn’t have a pair of shoes supposed to help me find a job, live on my own, go to college, or get the respect I deserve. 

7.      For someone with autism, you’re sure smart/attractive/done well/etc. Thanks. I’m glad to know that I still fit the same substandard category of intelligence, attractiveness, or accomplishment you think all autistics share. 

8.      I don’t judge you. You’re not like other autistic people. How many other autistic people do you know? And seriously, can you say, having not been in their shoes, that it is you’re place to judge them. And in saying this, you’re implying that I can only get respect by being far-removed from a group of people that are part of who I am.

9.      Don’t worry. You’ll outgrow autism someday. Apart from the fact that this is completely untrue, your rhetoric is completely ableist. You assume that to be a happy, fulfilled, relatively easy life, I need to abandon something that is part of myself. 

10.  Everything happens for a reason. First, unless the autistic you’re talking to has those same beliefs that you have, you should not say that to them. Second, implying that all autistic’s suffering is a part of a plan of some higher power tends to make more secular autistic’s feel as though our lives and our welfare aren’t worth as much to some divine being. We are basically just objects for the fulfillment of some unknown purpose that we should unquestioningly accept like the Nazis did with Hitler, and that our well-being isn’t as sacred as that of non-autistic people.