Equanemity After My Friend's Loss

Jack’s mother died on September 4. Emily, one of Jack’s close friend’s cried and I put my arm around her.  I had a friend loss a parent before now. My friend Elizabeth lost her father in a lawn-mowing accident. After I heard about it, I kept looking at a little Ganesh pendant my uncle gave my for my high school graduation present. Ganesh, I believe, symbolizes impermanence. It’s the nature of all things. When things go, you just know the world hasn’t.

                I knew Jack’s father, since he got a terminal diagnosis, stopped eating as much. I understood this yet was wishing he wouldn’t for the sake of his health. I realized however that this kind of behavior, according to the Dalai Lama, like all behaviors good and bad, are done for seeking happiness. It made me realize since we seem to seek happiness, all of us in some way, believe it’s possible.

                I went to Jack’s mom’s funeral and afterwards Mom and I got a card from Jack’s father thanking us for our support. I started carrying my little Ganesh in my coat pocket but found it a little uncomfortable. I didn’t have a good space for it though but then I remembered learning on-line how to make little “jewelry boxes” with origami. I made one for that pendant and several other necklaces I acquired over the years but I liked having something to carry around with me to symbolize the nature of impermanence. Then I found a pebble someone I knew gave me one time, knowing I collect pebbles, and remembered the “Shiva’s egg” stones in the store It’s A Beautiful Day in Westport and carried it around in my coat pocket. It was also rather relaxing to carry.

                I had the card on my desk for a while though and it was just taking up space. But at the same time, I didn’t want to get rid of it because of the things it symbolized. Then I remembered about how the Buddha said about letting go and I recycled it. I also knew that the card is just a symbol for something, not the thing itself.

An Update on My Roommate's Mother's Condition

When I last heard, my roommate's mother, who has had cancer, has been doing a lot better. She has recently gotten chemotherapy and seems to be recovering. I recently remembered a Tibetan Buddhist practice that maybe could help her if ever she still needs it: the Medicine Buddha practice.
The Medicine Buddha is a Tibetan Bodhisattva believed to be able to heal people when his mantra is practiced. The Medicine Buddha Mantra for Healing goes:

Bhagawan, with equal compassion for all,

whose name when just heard dispels the lower realm's suffering,

dispeller of diseases and the three poisons (ignorance, hatred and attachment),

I prostrate myself to the Medicine Buddha, Lapis light

Tadyatha om bekhandzye bekhandzye maha bekhandzye radza samudgate svaha.

–Tadyatha means "like this" in Tibetan.  

–Om is made of of the three pure sounds that signify body, mind and speech.  Bekhandzye means "eliminating pain."  

–Bekhandzye bekhandzye maha refers to the path to enlightenment: the ultimate medicine.

–Radza means "king."

–Samudgate means "who has come forth."

–Svaha means establishing a foundation in the heart: the blessing, the devotion from which realization arises.

"If one meditates on the Medicine Buddha, one will eventually attain enlightenment, but in the meantime one will experience an increase in healing powers both for oneself and others and a decrease in physical and mental illness and suffering." —Lama Tashi Namgyal

Buddhism for Uncertain Times

I recently found out is that my close friend and roommate's mother has cancer.  She has had it two times before so it seems to be in remission.  Nobody knows for sure how it will turn out.  However I know the Buddha would say that whatever happens, we have no control over it, and thinking about it won't change anything.