Equanemity After My Friend's Loss

Jack’s mother died on September 4. Emily, one of Jack’s close friend’s cried and I put my arm around her.  I had a friend loss a parent before now. My friend Elizabeth lost her father in a lawn-mowing accident. After I heard about it, I kept looking at a little Ganesh pendant my uncle gave my for my high school graduation present. Ganesh, I believe, symbolizes impermanence. It’s the nature of all things. When things go, you just know the world hasn’t.

                I knew Jack’s father, since he got a terminal diagnosis, stopped eating as much. I understood this yet was wishing he wouldn’t for the sake of his health. I realized however that this kind of behavior, according to the Dalai Lama, like all behaviors good and bad, are done for seeking happiness. It made me realize since we seem to seek happiness, all of us in some way, believe it’s possible.

                I went to Jack’s mom’s funeral and afterwards Mom and I got a card from Jack’s father thanking us for our support. I started carrying my little Ganesh in my coat pocket but found it a little uncomfortable. I didn’t have a good space for it though but then I remembered learning on-line how to make little “jewelry boxes” with origami. I made one for that pendant and several other necklaces I acquired over the years but I liked having something to carry around with me to symbolize the nature of impermanence. Then I found a pebble someone I knew gave me one time, knowing I collect pebbles, and remembered the “Shiva’s egg” stones in the store It’s A Beautiful Day in Westport and carried it around in my coat pocket. It was also rather relaxing to carry.

                I had the card on my desk for a while though and it was just taking up space. But at the same time, I didn’t want to get rid of it because of the things it symbolized. Then I remembered about how the Buddha said about letting go and I recycled it. I also knew that the card is just a symbol for something, not the thing itself.