My First Year Back at Home

It has been exactly one year (and six days) since I left the University of Central Missouri and the town of Warrensburg after graduating with a bachelor's degree while leading aand blazing a trail for people starting social network for autistics, promoting and supporting autistic culture and autism acceptance in a town where the people had never heard of neurodiversity, Autism Acceptance Month, or Light It Up Gold, and left behind the wisdom I gained from Johnson County Community College on leading a collegiate autistic community to several influential staff, students, and Warrensburg residents in the name of the Autistic Culture, while the UCM and Warrensburg have seen an increase in autistic students and families with autistic children moving to the town. After that I started a two year Disability Studies certificate program at UMKC, while dealing with a huge void of leaving behind such an incredible chapter of my life. However, over the last few days, I have looked at how I have spent my time in the year and six days since I have left and came back home and realized since that time I have:

-gotten halfway through my Disability Studies program
-worked nearly forty forty hour work weeks
-got my first car
-signed up for a health care plan and found a primary care physician in my area
-got together with Tyler and Jack three times, Tyler twice, Jack once, my friend Erin three times, and my friend Nick from high school once
-ditched a former friend who constantly talked down to me, belittled my accomplishments, kept accusing me of being all about myself, and scathing me with five page long Facebook comments, and messaged me until 1:30 in the morning.
-spoke in front of two groups of campers at Camp Encourage for autistic youth this summer
-got involved in the Arc of Douglass County/Self-Advocate Coalition of Kansas
-went all of April (Autism Acceptance Month) not wearing the color blue for the first time because of the color's use in April to promote medically modeled autism organizations that pay so much to executives and genetic testing and so little to autism services and have almost no autistic leadership, while posting selfies of my doing so everyday
-finished reading nine different books, as well as two Platte and Munk Co. books on different cultures, and started on at least fourteen other books
-read forty-one graphic novels and started two other ones
-drew over thirty pictures and did seven paintings and eleven watercolor drawings in my art class
-made about one hundred forty-seven coasters from receipts, ten bottle cap signs, four or five tambourines from bottle caps, a picture from bottle caps, a bottle cap cross, bottle cap fish, three toilet paper roll wall pieces, a sign made from straws, a wallet made from a book dust jacket, a mandala (meditative image) from plastic bags, started on a heart wall piece made from straws, and worked on a belt made from plastic bag yarn (plarn)
-made one thousand produce bags into plarn for a blanket for a homeless individual, twenty produce bags into plarn for a friend of mine, and over several hundred grocery bags into plarn
-sold two sets of receipt coasters and one bottle cap wall fish
-came up with nine new ideas for novels and three autistic fairy tales
-wrote sixteen new poems, one new song, seventeen blogposts and started writing at least nine of the ideas I have for novels, my three fairy tales, nine other poems, one blogpost, one song, three other books, and two other snippets of writing I couldn't fit into any other project of mine
-worked on my novels all but three days for the last four months
-went one time, when I had the time, to one of the meetings of the autistic student organization I started at JCCC
-fed Peter and scooped his litter box almost everyday for the last eight months, mowed the lawn in the summers, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher nearly every week
-disovered how teaching disability history in school could help future parents of disabled children to know what resources exist for their children and that modifying our television viewing habits could someday lead us to have politicians who have the experience and understanding to do more for their disabled citizens, as well as the fact that there are even people in the autistic culture who can make a business of helping autistic people with their troubles, and as such, do not want the autistic people to rise above their troubles, as that would mean these people would lose their livelihood.

Not only this, but I managed to do it while having an old woman crash into me while making a left turn, on-line mobs of cyber trolls, and getting fleebites from a colony that launched in my bedroom. Looking back, I truly believe that I have really managed to adjust well to this new chapter of my life. I have left a great one behind, after finishing another great chapter, and am ready for many more that await me.

My New Year's Resolution So Far: First Three Months

This is not about Autism Acceptance Month, but it does have to do with the first three months of this year that have gone by.  A few months ago, I made my New Year's Resolution for this year.  So far, this is how I have kept to it in the first three months:

-made it through ten weeks of my Disability Studies program
-finished four discussion papers
-did one presentation for the class
-finished reading thirty-three graphic novels and got farther along in two others
-finished reading five of my books, as well as two Platte and Munk Co. books on different cultures from the Leadville antique store
-read over several dozen pages of six other books of mine
-came up with one new novel idea and three new "Autistic fairy tale" ideas
-started writing four of my novels, two other book ideas I had, my three aforementioned fairy tales, started or finished eleven other poems of mine, and two snippets of ideas that didn't fit into any pieces of writing I am working on yet
-got together at least twice with a friend of mine
-broke off with a friend who subjected me to all herown drama
-finished eight watercolor drawings
-finished thirteen drawings and worked on five more
-made thirty-seven more receipt coasters
-turned one hundred eighty discarded produce bags into plastic bag yarn (Plarn) to make a blanket for a homeless individual, as well as twenty for a ball of yarn for a friend of mine's cat, and at least sixty grocery bags into plarn
-sold one of my receipt coaster sets
-made another one of my bottle cap signs
-finished another bottle cap picture
-made another bottle cap tambourine
-made an entire sign out of drinking straws
-made three more painted stones from rocks I found out in Colorado
-made a paper streamer made from old Starbuck's bags
-made four more pieces of toilet paper roll wall art
-finished building a shelf for my Lonely Planet books
-also worked on my writing pieces/stories for all but four days of the last two months, fed Peter and scooped his litter box almost every day, spent several nights talking on the phone tomy best friend Tyler, taken several pictures with my i-phone, and learned to be more positive about finding relationships, people throughout world, and other areas of my life.

So far, I think I have kept to it very well.

Autism Acceptance Month 2016 (Year 6)

Copied and pasted from my Facebook account:

March 27

Hello all,

This April and April 2nd specifically is, for members of the Autistic Culture such as myself, Autism Acceptance Month and Day respectively. Note I say ACCEPTANCE, as opposed to AWARENESS, which are very different, and which is the theme of April and April 2nd for those who believe in the medical model of autism, such as Autism Speaks, the National Autism Association, and the Autism Research Institute. AWARENESS, symbolized with puzzle pieces and blue clothes and lights, generally focuses on autism as a medical disaster causing divorces and taking children from their family, and allows Autism Speaks executives to continue making their six-figure salaries while paying less than 5% of their organizations to any meaningful supports for autistics and their families. The blue lights, alluding to AS's puzzle piece symbol, comes from this fastly discredited notion that there are four autistic boys for every autistic girl, while autistics such as myself reject the puzzle piece as we are not broken pictures to be reassembled, and we, and our diversity, fit together naturally, with no beginning and no end, like the Autistic rainbow infinity piece. ACCEPTANCE, which we launched to take back April, embraces the social model of autism, being a difference to be respected as with homosexuality or any other difference, not caused by vaccines, genetic deformities, bad parents, bacon, tanning beds, and so on, expressed through links, photos, art, poetry, blogs, and events that portray my condition POSITIVELY-certain not as always peachy, as, like with every way of living, life with autism isn't perfect and has its problems, but this should not be the focus of how we view this segment of our humanity. I shall be doing this certainly, but I have one final "piece" to mention. THIS MONTH is celebrated by wearing and lighting GOLD, RED, TAUPE, and ORANGE, for the chemical symbol for gold (AU), the first two letters of the word "Autistic"; red, a heart, to symbolize autism, rather than a puzzle piece; taupe, the Tree of Neurodiversity (various mental wiring, including autism and neurotypicality, being valid); orange, the spark from the Celebrate Autism Foundation. Their is also green from the coil-and-jump logo for Great Britain's Autscape and purple for royal purple (indicating royalness) from Scotland's Autistic Rights Group Highlands, and the rainbow, but, not blue alone. Note, this is different from awareness, for its not just what we see, but the lens (or lack of) with which we are to see them. I have said before, we have enough awareness, but awareness is not enough. We need acceptance, and rather than donating to Autism Speaks, realize their our groups that will allow autistics their socially crucial need of acceptance, such as the Academic Autism Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education, the Autistic Union, the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, the Autism Women's Network, and so on. I realize many may have a lot to learn, and I have a lot not to judge, but note this, throughout the entire month of April, I will not only be wearing gold, red, taupe, and orange (and green and purple), but I will be wearing no blue (except for my rainbow Autism Acceptance Day shirt, which is different, and make sure to put a photo of it on Facebook every day, so you can be sure of my promise. I did this last April from the 5th (when I got the idea) to the 31st, with clothes from the Salvation Army store in Warrensburg, a bottle cap necklace, glow bracelets covered in Cheetos bag strips, and handwoven friendship bracelets. And the results were amazing. All-in-all these posts got at least sixty likes altogether, over half a dozen from the UCM community, and more if you counted the faculty and staff and alumni. This time I shall do it again, all thirty-one days, somehow fitting it all in with school, work, my social life, and working on my novels every day as part of my New Year's resolution. I do not ask that anyone try this, but know that to me, blue does not signal an immediate ally to my solutions, and while everyone can learn more in cultural competence, I will not let my world go unaware of my message when I have the words, actions, and clothes to embody it. So if you see me and you notice I am not wearing blue, I hope this will explain why. ‪#‎AutismAcceptanceDay6

March 28

Today, I went to Ten Thousand Villages, and found this red leather bracelet made from scraps of leather from Columbia's textile industry, which says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Gandhi. I got it because it is red, in honor of 2016's Autism Acceptance Month in three days, and for its quote, which meant a lot to me as an autistic activist at UCM and elsewhere. ‪#‎AutismAcceptanceDay2016

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World Down Syndrome Day Year 10

Today is World Down Syndrome Day, a day that reminds me ever more of how grateful I am for my good friend, Tyler Nelson Weekly. I remember him being my roommate in our second year at UCM's THRIVE program, going with him to see all the Hobbit movies, watching his school dance performances, talking to him on the phone, having him spend nights at my home where we watched The Power Rangers, watching the Disney Channel of my own accord for a while after a year of living with him, coming with him to the Down Syndrome Guild of Kansas City's yearly Down syndrome dance, having him by me during my graduation from the University of Central Missouri, taking him for rides the first night I got my new car, going to Royal's game with him and our friend Jack, coming with him to Starlight Performances-where he is an usher captain-and the time he came with me to Minsky's on my twenty-sixth birthday and took a diagonally slanted picture of my mom and me. He constantly supports every dream I have and is just so eye-opening to the lives people with Down syndrome lead. He always wants to help me. I constantly love how he is funny, kind, intuitive, loyal, and so many other things that I am lucky that he is. I remember every time when I have looked for the right woman, and got to know one out there, Tyler would say, "Did you tell her about me?" and I said, "No, Tyler, but don't worry. I would be remiss if the girl I dated did not know about you." I once told my granddad, "Any woman who does not accept Tyler exactly as he is, is no girlfriend of mine."

"On this day, let us reaffirm that persons with Down syndrome are entitled to the full and effective enjoyment of all human rights and fundamental freedoms. Let us each do our part to enable children and persons with Down syndrome to participate fully in the development and life of their societies on an equal basis with others. Let us build an inclusive society for all."

-United Nations General Secretary Ban Ki-Moon

 

 

My 2015 Year in Review

My new year in review: from getting accepted into UMKC's graduate a Disability Studies program, to taking on powerful groups for the betterment of my fellow autistics in Warrensburg, to finishing my BS in Cultural Studies. Later my first pet-sitting job followed by speaking to Camp Encourage's autistic youth, followed by many long days of work, to art classes and nights spent with Tyler. Later starting at UMKC, turning twenty-six, finishing my first graduate semester, and creating many stories, songs, and graphic novels, along with reading several of my Lord of the Rings books and catching up with friends from high school, junior college, and UCM, while connecting with the wonderful Arc of Douglass County/Self-Advocate Coalition in Lawrence. Lastly I look back to getting an offer to come back to my volunteer job from high school at Ten Thousand Villages, endless hours of environmental activism, and one memorable night revisiting the autistic community I started at JCCC. My next year: spend more time with the people I care about, less listening to negativity or giving a shit about someone else's drama, more time working on my writing, art, and environmental crafts, listening more to what my gut tells me, and finish the conclusion to my account of my time spent in Warrensburg, Missouri, and then start on the writing of my account after Warrensburg and the aftermath of the experience, and my stories of dealing with issues in the autistic and disabled community at home and the pleasures and challenges of being here. I also learned to stop doubting and just believe there's a way for things to work out in my love life, for if I stop fostering all this negativity, things will find a way. Clearly, I'm proud of a lot, though it doesn't mean I am free of my own issues in every area of my life. However, I know what I want, and am willing to go far with the people who help me get there. Happy New Year, everybody.

Autistic Thanksgiving (kind of) after Twenty-Six Years of Life

Today is my twenty-sixth Thanksgiving, and, while I am grateful for the great things in my life everyday, I will say that I am also grateful for being able to join my dad and grandparents after work at Buca di Beppo (Italian restaurant), enjoying bread sticks with olive oil and particularly saucy hot pizza, and finishing it off with canoli sticks. Sometimes that interaction-despite knowing the tragic Native American side of the story of this day-allowed me to gleam more of who I am and why I am grateful for what I have and what is in my life. Sometimes (as I know all too well as an autistic activist), you will run into the most narcissistic people; people who revel in what they've been through and reach the conclusion that the world revolves around them, and their sufferings and experiences are more important than anyone else's in their lives (autistic and a woman has been called a double disability, as has being from other marginalized backgrounds). But as I indulged in banter with my family, I thought "People on this earth have gone through everything they did, and are alive after all that." I (have known) some of the happiest people in the world who are not alive after split-second car wrecks, terminal illnesses, and other misfortunes that can happen to anyone (including me). As I thought this, I also realized "Whatever some people have survived, be it true or not, they might not have lasted if they had lived in someone else's shoes." I know I have lived in mine, and nobody can judge better than I would who could have survived this life that has made me happier than ever. I am a small town autistic Buddhist with a passion for environmentalism and Lord of the Rings fandom. As I learned when I moved away from city life and spent the next four years in Warrensburg, Missouri, small towns are extremely barren for autistic individuals, in terms of services, basic understanding, and outlets for cultural expressions. Occassionally you will see "discussion" on autism, but it tends to be shallow, gimmicky, neurotypical-led advertising where the host group accrues great financial benefits while belittling grass roots autistic work. In Buddhist circles meanwhile, I find even there I can feel alone and marginalized as a non-neurotypical individual. This has even led to misunderstandings and the unfortunate burning of bridges with many NT Buddhist friends (though thankfully none at the Pathless Land or JCCC's SGI chapter). While many NT Buddhists are rejected by their conservative Christian parents, I find myself rebuffed by my fellow co-religionists. I find myself grateful that I can do my morning meditation every day with my homemade altar and still refuse to honk angrily at some driver ahead of me inside his SUV. Buddhist culture is not something people automatically grasp or accept in small towns in Missouri either, and it took months before I thought rationally enough to stop concealing my Buddhist practice from my roommate and best friend from junior college. As for small town life, I am reminded everyday that these areas hardly seem to be on the radar of everyday autistic rights activists and well-known individuals. They have grown up in cities, filled their shelves with participation trophies, devoid of post-secondary education in history, government, sociology, and anthropology, and away from the poverty of Warrensburg that enables a culture of "trigger-warnings," allowing student voices equipped with twenty-year old computer knowledge engaged in academic and departmental debates to win by default and become experts in their field of study. For me, I created all evidence of autistic culture in my life from scratch-markers, embroidery floss, pencils, candy wrappers, old CDs, paper and ink-to the point where I suddenly realize what a fellow autistic friend from Central Missouri meant about autistic cultures when she said, "Rural Missouri is where it's at." I thought about the culture of Central Missouri, and realized it is the perfect training ground for autistic rights activists, a hostile climate to provide the growth-giving hardships that soldiers are well beyond knowing. There are no safe zones, no trigger warnings, and the vast majority of your activism better be off-line because this town is too close and full of things going on for people to search the internet until they find your results. Sometimes I fear for the autistic rights movement because I know the young people who it will soon be shaped by are being raised under a coddling culture, which would never have allowed Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. or Rosa Parks to openly defy the white government at all costs. I am grateful that I have still been able to believe in such a cause because I have done it in such a hostile environment before and will undoubtedly do it again many, many times. Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

5 Drawings: In Honor of Autistic History Month

For many autistics around the world, November is Autistic History Month ("because we need to know our history"-in the words of Kate Gladstone, see here), and in honor of this month, I've taken some drawings I've done recently to honor it.

I used this as my Facebook profile picture a few months ago.  It, of course, refers to autistic's tendency to stim (flapping hands, rocking, etc.)



Like the crests used by ancient Scottish clans, this represents the autistic world as one big human family (if not one where people fight with each other and don't talk for months) with five colors commonly associated with autistic rights organizations-gold (for which we have the chemical symbol Au, the first two letters of Autistic), red, taupe, orange, and purple, and five common autistic symbols-the butterfly, a flower, infinity sign, and a heart, along with the slogan of the Disability Rights Movement and the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network "Nothing About Us Without Us."  This was also another profile picture.

Another profile picture, my likeness drawn in the four main autistic colors-gold, red, taupe, and orange.





 

This one's pretty self-explanatory.  It got many likes and a share from a mother of an autistic child who I am a Facebook friend of, saying alongwith it, "My son is not a puzzle piece."

 

 

 

In light of the recent attacks in Paris, I saw profile pictures going around of the French flag with a puzzle piece inside.  I liked the idea, but decided to change it to the autistic infinity symbol (as the puzzle piece is very disliked by proud autistics like myself to represent them).

 



 

The University of Central Missouri mascot with the rainbow infinity inside it.  Another profile picture of mine.

 

 

My latest Facebook cover photo, a charm necklace (that exists only in my head) of an autistic Buddhist, Johnson County Community College, UCM, University of Missouri Kansas City student, environmentalist, Tolkien fan.

 

There is also of course the newest picture for The Autist Dharma.  For more of my drawings, you can see my post from last April here.  Stay tuned.  I'll have some digital art work and multimedia pieces to share with you in honor of this month.  Good night.