Memorial Day Post 2015

Today is Memorial Day, and I myself agree with the sentiment of respecting individuals who giveup lives, freedom, and economic comfort in the name of protecting our own. As nations developed, militaries became necessary to protect the individuals and society from the outside, police to protect individuals from threats on the inside, and national guards to safeguard the countries internal affairs. To protect people from reigns of religiously-sanctioned monarchies, the concept of democracy-elected governments-developed, and to safeguard this, the concept of freedom of speech, freedom, of religion, and freedom of press, and to ensure this literacy and economic stability for individual people had to be promoted by schools, while our armed forces elected (usually) on the promise of securing these necessities, but the fact is these people are ordered by governments, who are increasingly being elected with large businesses, churches, and special interest groups being counted as individual voters (Citizens United), along with the wealthy people who run them. I've lived in this country my whole life, and would never dream of leaving this country if it were not necessary for my own personal safety, but I cannot, without feeling the weight of inconsistencies, call this the land of the free when it was among the last country in the West to abolish the official owning of human beings, and nowadays the last country in the West to allow people the right to marry the love of their live in the name of an All-loving god, and deny families and individuals the right to have their living expenses of wealthy individuals who live off their labor, and spends more money the rest of the world combined to lock people up with nodecrease in crime, while the government uses its tax money to widen the gap between the rich and the poor, while governments subsidizing the rich decide debates on poverty based on free-loaders, while groups suffering from centuries of unpaid labor are shot fornon-lethal crimes, when only a portion of the population are guaranteed clean air, drinking water, and land, when it raises tax revenue from draining the resources and labor force from oppressed countries for minimal compensation, while men and women are sent to war for the expenses of the wealthy and have their survival needs neglected, while the "burden" of raising a disabled child is used to minimalize the burden on society for locking them up, when the law does not go far enough to deny impunity to men who would use women for their sex slavery and call the resulting life-long burden a gift from the divine, when politicians agree to protect a child only until it grows up in poverty or waits voiceless without a family until years when bureaucratic regulations have been negotiated, when diversity and multiculturalism is dictated on the terms of the dominant groups, and when individuals can live off starvation wages, seventy-five cents for the dollar for women, wage discrimination for ethnic minorities, shortcuts around protecting people's ecosystems, collections of tax-payer money, fictitous trade-offs in the Third World, and increased barriers to higher education, and call it "their hard-earned money." Indeed, until large businesses, religious fundamentalists, misogynistic frat boys, and self-promoting parents no longer control the fates of women, the poor, LGBTQs, and disabled people can I truly feel comfortable calling this the Land of the Free.

Autism Positivity Day 2015 Post: 7 Years after Embracing My Identity

Today is Autism Positivity Day, and, conveniently for me, it almost coincides with the day where seven years ago I decided to fully embrace the fact that I am an autistic man, not man with autism, but autistic, with a Capital A. I know seven years is not much of a period, but for me, this coincides with the time I finally got my Bachelor’s degree, after seven years of college, fighting uphill against two college environments that for an autistic were hard to adjust to. Yet, in that time, I also started and led collegiate organizations on both campuses that stressed an environment where autistics could be themselves. I also started two autism blogs, which have now together garnered over fifteen thousand views in over sixty countries, spoke to children at an autism camp twice—which I had formerly attended as a teenager, the high school students of my former school for youth with intellectual and developmental disabilities, the Psych Club, Pursuit of Happiness Day forum, and the 2015 Spring Leadership Conference at UCM, wrote for the Autistic Speaking Day blog, the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network of Kansas City, the Horizon Academy (my high school) newsletter, the UCM Muleskinner, KCTV, the Kansas Legislature, JCCC’s Autism Beyond the Diagnosis 2008 Conference, and Autism and Neurodiversity in the Classroom on the struggle of the autistic community. I would also write The Friend of Autism Pledge, donate artwork to the Mission Project Housing for people with I/DD, and make poster presentations for Disability Awareness Week in 2013 and 2014, and Autism Acceptance Month in 2014 at UCM. I would also graduate UCM’s intellectual and developmental disability THRIVE program two years before I became the first, and so far, only THRIVE student to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree, although many did go on to become regular students at UCM and other universities. The thing is that my life has changed so radically, as have others I’ve heard, from embracing who I am, something I have only truly done for less than a third of my life.

                But despite all this, I actually feared telling my story to just anyone. I feared I would become an idol for “inspiration porn,” which is frequently the tone of any disabled person who rises above societies abysmal expectations of them, or, worse, overcoming autism. At no point was I free from self-doubt that largely seems to go unheard of with autistics like Temple Grandin and John Elder Robison. I questioned my decisions frequently and even blamed myself for whatever suffering came the way of my fellow autistic UCM students. In fact, if it were not for my meditation, spiritual life, true friends, family, and fellow Autistic Student and Peer Organization, JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Group, ASAN-KC, Camp Encourage, Horizon Academy members, various autistic and ally Facebook friends, I literally do not think I would have survived the last four years of completing the collegiate autistic advocacy experiment in Warrensburg. At every point, I encountered opposition from people who claimed to be true friends of autism and am still learning much of the backhanded nature of their acts. Many said to me that given our societies unaccommodating nature of autism, these people did the best they could. However, all of them had in fact acted selfishly. Over my time at UCM, I learned four valuable lessons of how to get autistics to create a community that truly embraces people like us, including:

1.       Do not, under any circumstances, use the puzzle piece. Yes, the puzzle piece may be very well known, but if groups advocating for autistics care about us more than the group, they will sacrifice their commercial success for individual’s welfare. Any point where the name of autism advocacy is used to gain a competitive edge over others is almost certainly for selfish reasons. What really annoys me these days about the autism puzzle piece is that it seems to be a socially acceptable way of calling someone the R-word. Yes, every autistic person is unique, but I found rainbow mosaic or kaleidoscope symbols (not with just primary colors) also represented every autistic person’s uniqueness in a cohesive, natural way. A kaleidoscope’s changing ways can also represent autistic’s struggle to adapt to society.

2.       ACCEPTANCE, not awareness, is a mantra for change. When young, naïve neurotypicals stop me in the streets asking them to support their cause of autism awareness, I wish to ask them, “I live with autism 24/7, and it is in my sleeping patterns, dietary habits, and even the way I move. How can I not be aware of it?” The fact that a person would automatically assume I am not autistic leads me to wonder how much their cause is really promoting awareness. Awareness tends to emphasize elite neurotypicals and institutions lending their name to the cause of autism then it does the diverse stories of autistics in our own words. It is a paternalistic relationship, enforced by the perception that autistics are basically all children, not an empowering one.

3.       Blue lights cannot be away to welcome people you wish to be fully accepting, self-respecting autistics, for their only true association with autism is the logo of an autism an autism organization (Autism Speaks) whose financial, commercial, and corporate aspects are, at best, questionable. It would be like wearing gray for Black History Month, as gray was the color of the Confederate soldiers. Instead, I wear gold, whose chemical symbol Au is the first to letters of the word “autistic”; red, the color of a heart, which has been proposed as an alternative symbol for the puzzle piece; taupe, the color of the Tree of Neurodiversity, also suggested as an alternative symbol for the puzzle piece; and orange, the color of the spark logo of the Celebrate Autism Foundation, also suggested as an alternative to the puzzle piece; or rainbow colors, not just blue, representing the diversity of autism throughout life, and the Autistic Self-Advocacy Networks rainbow heptagon symbol, also suggested as an alternative for something. No prizes for guessing what.

4.       Autistics must be empowered to speak for themselves, as individuals, and as a community, not by neurotypical parents, celebrities, school spirit faces, or institutions. While neurotypical loved ones may help, they must not talk over, manipulate, or review for approval the voices of autistics, because while many doing so do intend to help, let’s look at what picture this creates of autistics: individuals, regardless of their age, who need mommy and daddy to fight their battles. Rather than empowering images of people you’d want for your company, social life, or any aspect that is a key to autistic integration, autistics are devalued as children, much the way slaves in the American South were called “boy.” The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network meanwhile, has created resources for everything from improving autistic services to preventing murders of children to stopping disabled discrimination in organ transplants, and has made substantially more difference than elite individuals who wish to speak for autistics. For the first few years I knew I was autistic, these things—puzzle pieces, blue lights, awareness, and helicopter parents— were all I knew of the autism world. Consequently, I did not embrace my autism, and would not have done all this stuff for the autistic community if I hadn’t. I hope my fellow autistic individuals will be motivated to do the same things I have done and make this a better world for people like us.

Mother's Day Post

It is Mother's Day, and I want to say, if nothing else,that I am happy for all that I have gotten from my mother, Kitzi Dingley, including food, home, rides to school, work, friend's house, the various stamps, coins, musical instruments, and bottle caps I collect, art supplies, classes, time behind the wheel, notebooks, books, and getting help from her dad so I was able to attend the right school. Moreover, I remember her making suggestions that led me to volunteer at Ten Thousand Villages, start the JCCC Autism Spectrum Support Group, which later led me to start the Autistic Student and Peer Organization at UCM, going to UCM's THRIVE program, speaking at the Kansas Legislature for my fellow autistic, the JCCC Autism Beyond the Diagnosis Conference, going to UMKC's Disability Studies program, and her learning what it was I needed in life. I'm glad I didn't have to figure out everything in my life. I am also grateful for various mothers of autistic children, who don't feel the need to fix their children, accept their stress-related habits, communication, don't feel the need to portray them as an expressway for stress in their lives, and respect their right to be on this earth. I also want to give thanks to the various autistic mothers out there who led groups like the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, the Autism Women's Network, blog to inform the world about autistic people, and teach disabled children in schools. Happy Mother's Day!

Acceptance Is

This month (Autism Acceptance Month) the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network is posting signs that people send them that are done on their Autism Acceptance Month templates, which can be found on Facebook and e-mailed to SB@AutisticAdvocacy.org until the end of April.  So I just wanted to share it with readers, and hope you enjoy, though you can also find them on ASAN's Facebook page.

It's an orange fist (orange for the Celebrate Autism Foundations spark logo, which you also see in the background) coming out of a lotus with a rainbow infinity symbol against a winged heart, all much bettersymbols for autism than puzzle pieces, with a quatrain saying:

Guess what.
I'm autistic.
Better get used to it.
I love myself the way I am.
Got it?!

 

Four Autism Acceptance Month Cartoons

Drew them myself.  I think they're alright.

 

 

Happy Autism Acceptance Month!

 

Autism and Dual Messages: A Poem for Autism Acceptance Month

You say to me:

"I support you.

I'm going to get hundreds of signs all over town saying, 'Autism Awareness.'"

I hear:

"I want everyone seeing you as the lion in my circus,

how you're a lonely old ladies favorite past time that her dog chewed up a lot of,

and I get a high out of letting us marvel about how you're the sick little kitten,

while we're the human adults."

You say:

"I'm here for you.

I'm going to wear or light it up blue,

like the CN Tower, the White House, the Hotel Dubai, and the Sydney Opera House."

I here:

"I believe in supporting autistic people based off the first thing I hear off the streets,

and the people you listen to on how to support you

are the same ones who've segregated you, discriminated against you, and shoved you into cages, and you can't make these decisions about your life,

despite being on the Dean's List and twice promoted at work."

You say,

batting your eyes at me from across the gym:

"I'm gonna stay by you.

I'm going to wear my shirt publicizing a celebrity or locally-known individual lending their name to the autism cause."

I hear:

"I expect you to support my clique's,

which probably doesn't over represent autistics in their numbers,

line about people like you at any cost,

which we'll peer pressure people like you into doing,

take the recognition of your struggling autism project's work for ourselves,

and try to get liked by appealing to the lowest common denominator,

which is the only real thing we've done for autism,

while for our fifty-fifty relationship,

I don't have to hear your opinions on yourself,

while you're expected to listen to me ramble on about student parking."

You say:

"I'm on your side.

I've liked Autism Speaks on Facebook,

just so I can know what they’re doing,

and plus, they are the most well-known name in autism,"

when I have repeatedly pointed out ways they're financially irresponsible,

use ignorant people's emotions to tell them what's best for us,

and treat us like children who can never know as well as they do how society should accommodate

people with similar needs to our's.

I hear:

"By my logic, Rain Man's Dustin Hoffman and Playboy's Jenny McCarthy know autism best

not like Temple Grandin or John Elder Robison,

so I'm supporting you by clicking a button to let the world know I approve of their didactic, self-absorbed rambling,

and that I expect a financially murky organization like them to tell me the truth of their activities."

You say:

"You're twisting my words,"

make some subtle plea for me to absolve you of these things.

I hear nothing.

I'm this close to unfriending you.

A Letter to Myself

After feeling my efforts to start an autistic community in Warrensburg were going so underappreciated by many, I made myself a bracelet from tiles cut out of a beer caddy, each with symbols autistics themselves had suggested for autism, and I wrote a note to myself saying,

Dear Ben,

I wanted to thank you for all you have done for the autistics at UCM and in efforts for the benefit of the autistic culture and liberation everywhere. You have been a pioneer willing to take on ...the worst challenges with little support or recognition. You have persevered under the toughest challenges, and, though you may not think it, your actions are beginning to take root. No one could have possibly taken things further from where you started. At times, many people have been given recognition in the world of autism merely for their looks or their well-established reputation, which people automatically seem to judge the work they do by. You however, have stood for autism, even when the message you brought forth was not popular. You persevered through thick and thin, never gave in to pressure, strove for what you believed was right, and spent hours of exhaustion and uncertainty for people you wished to make strong, empowered people with a culture of their own. Because of you, the autistic world now has many new innovations, such as the thriving autistic community at JCCC, the Autistic Liberation Dharma, the autistic porcupine symbol, the eco-autistic movement, and the Friend of Autism Pledge, and I wish to give you this bracelet of tiles with the autistic symbols from some of the greatest minds in the world of autism, has ever seen, as well as your own. Your granddad also wishes to thank you for the work you have done, and for your earnesty, wisdom, dedication, and sacrifice for the good of autistic kind. Thank you.

Love,
Ben