The Dharma of Relationships, Part Two

They say there are a number of people who can satisfy us romantically not just one. In Buddhism there is the notion of karma which teaches our actions shape what we become. Though there are infinite doors in life, each leading to a different reality, because we choose something or someone, it has a way of becoming special. Buddhism is also great in relationships as it teaches non-attachment. We often think that having to be devastated if we lost the love of our live is true love. But really I see it as a way of making ourselves a slave to the people we love. Our partners are always alive in us, is what Buddhism teaches, and the people they matter to and those people who matter to them and vice versa. Also the more we can admit there are many people out there, the more we can love and therefore love our partners, just as the more we love ourselves, we can love others.

            When you listen to your body, such as when you kiss or touch a loved one, you are in touch with the fact that you are alive because our bodies allow us to be so which means we have a supreme chance to achieve awakening. It also helps us realize we are mortal, which is good to know because we are more motivated to do it, knowing we only have a limited time to do so in this life we identify with. Lovers change and can leave us unpredictably. That is a good way for us to learn the nature of impermanence. Through love, we can learn to become awakened.  

What We Mean When We Say We Are Our Best Voice

The Seven Deadly Sins in the World of Autism

There is often talk about the fact that autistic people are the best advocates for themselves. However, some people seem to generate some confusion about what that actually means. What "autistic people are the best advocates for themselves" does not mean:

-Having a token autistic spokesperson.
-Listening to one person with autism before deciding to speak for all of them
-Speaking on behalf of all people with autism or any person with autism no matter how well you know them
-Taking what an autistic person says to try and justify your own agenda on autism
-Using a person with autism to advance the agenda of a predominantly non-autistic group
-Saying your view of the issue (e.g. cure all people with autism) instead of an autistic person's view (give me the services I need to thrive in the world) because you believe you and he are saying the same thing
-Simply quoting someone with autism when you try to speak for all autistic people

What real autistic representation means is: having autistic people be the predominant group speaking their own entire platform exactly as it is for themselves without it being used for one person or groups advantage directly to the people they want to communicate with for their own purposes in whatever venues they choose to express themselves through. Anything else, no matter how well-intended, is an affront to our right to speak for ourselves.

The Dharma of Relationships

See the past as a dream.

What I've experienced, and know others have too, is that after being with a girl for a certain amount of time, the relationship just isn't the same as it used to be. After being someone with so long, it's know longer knew which often makes a relationship so great. Fortunately, Buddhism has answers to these problems.

One of the teachings of the Buddha that inspires me so much is that partners should serve as each others spiritual mentors and teachers. To me that means that partners ought to act as spiritual role models whether they are Christian, Buddhist or atheist.

Buddhism also teaches about how the world is illusory. Sometimes when we've been with a partner for so long, another person tends to come our way and we think I'm in love with this person. despite already having a relationship. You might find yourself torn, thinking I've been with my partner for so long, but this person brings out something in me I never new.

Fortunately, as Buddhism teaches the world is illusory, we can realize that this new person represents in us a part of ourselves we are not currently aware of. It may be helpful to explore ourselves. We can often find new parts of ourselves when we visit another country, help out a needy child or take a walk in an unfamiliar part of town.

The Buddhist teaching is the Law of Karma, that everything we do leaves an imprint on ourselves. We are often, a humans, "in love with the idea of being in love." I've felt before that I've wanted to feel in love again, for the first time. Fortunately, that you that fell in love is still there hidden inside you. You may recapture the imprint, in which memories survive, through making a love journal of all your past experiences with your lover or going to a place with special significance to your relationship.

Finally, as the Buddha said, the past should be viewed as a dream. From that point of view, one's relationship aught not to matter how old it is, because that memory, though important, is like a dream.  Identification the ego can be loosened by practices that cultivate compassion.

My favorite is the Mantra of Chenrizig, the Bodhisattva of Compassion, who Tibetan Buddhists believe the Dalai Lama is a reincarnation of. Often chanted one hundred eight times for the number of beads on a Buddhist prayer bead mala, it goes:

Om Mani Padme Hum

This translates roughly as "Hail, Jewel in the Lotus."

The next chant that I particularly like is the Metta chant. It goes something like this:

May all beings be happy.

An Update on My Roommate's Mother's Condition

When I last heard, my roommate's mother, who has had cancer, has been doing a lot better. She has recently gotten chemotherapy and seems to be recovering. I recently remembered a Tibetan Buddhist practice that maybe could help her if ever she still needs it: the Medicine Buddha practice.
The Medicine Buddha is a Tibetan Bodhisattva believed to be able to heal people when his mantra is practiced. The Medicine Buddha Mantra for Healing goes:

Bhagawan, with equal compassion for all,

whose name when just heard dispels the lower realm's suffering,

dispeller of diseases and the three poisons (ignorance, hatred and attachment),

I prostrate myself to the Medicine Buddha, Lapis light

Tadyatha om bekhandzye bekhandzye maha bekhandzye radza samudgate svaha.

–Tadyatha means "like this" in Tibetan.  

–Om is made of of the three pure sounds that signify body, mind and speech.  Bekhandzye means "eliminating pain."  

–Bekhandzye bekhandzye maha refers to the path to enlightenment: the ultimate medicine.

–Radza means "king."

–Samudgate means "who has come forth."

–Svaha means establishing a foundation in the heart: the blessing, the devotion from which realization arises.

"If one meditates on the Medicine Buddha, one will eventually attain enlightenment, but in the meantime one will experience an increase in healing powers both for oneself and others and a decrease in physical and mental illness and suffering." —Lama Tashi Namgyal

Blind Faith in Bangladesh

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

-The Buddha
 

Having no oil, Bangladesh does not get the same media attention as countries like Iraq or Sudan. Yet if most Americans knew the harsh treatment of Bangladesh's Jumma people, areas of regular news interest would fall under the radar.

The Chittagong people (the Jumma) of eastern Bangladesh are a distinct people who follow Buddhism, Shamanism, Hinduism or Christianity. During the last decades they have been victims of an ongoing genocide by the majority Bengali Muslims. Rape and murder by the Bengali government has been perpetuated to make room for Bengali settlers. In CHT, the settlers now outnumber the indigenous Chittagong.

The settlers in the Chittagong Hill Tracts are driven by the Islamist ideology of the Saudi-sponsored "missionary" group Al-Rabat, meaning "Students of God." The Islamist sect of Al-Rabat is called Wahhabism which declares followers of other religions, including non-Wahhabist Muslims, as "infidels." Osama bin Laden himself, was raised in the Wahhabist sect. Saudi Arabia, a state where Wahhabism is the official state religion, bans the practice of all non-Muslim religions for naturalized Saudi citizens (Buddhist, Hindu, Christian and Jewish foreign workers in most of Saudi Arabia may only practice their religions in private).  

Chittagong mother and her dying child in and Internally Displaced Person's Camp.

 

According to Right View, part of the Buddhist Eightfold Path, we should consider that all things can be seen from many different viewpoints. The first precept of the Buddhist order founded by Thich Nhat Hanh is, "Do not be idolatrous towards any doctrine, belief or theory-even Buddhist ones." It is being able to not be attached to viewpoints that can allow us to become more compassionate people.  

"Holy War": "Us" vs. "Them"

The Lord's Resistance Army of Uganda

For the last two decades, the rebel Lord's Resistance Army of Uganda has been fighting for an overthrow of the Ugandan government and replace with a theocratic Christian government.  The rebel group lead by the insane Joseph Kony uses terror tactics including killing, rape, torture, mutilation, abduction and forced child recruitment.  Joseph Kony has been indicted by the International Criminal's Court for war crimes and crimes against humanity.

Photos four and five: victims of the LRA

"Us" vs. "Them"

According to the Buddha, a leading contributor of suffering is dualism, which includes ideas such as "good vs. evil," "heaven vs. hell," civilization vs. nature," and "saved vs. the damned."  When we use these distinctions, we may do anything to the "other."  We may exploit the earth's resources, abuse women and so on.  It is only being able to overcome the illusion of separateness that ensures true peace.

In the Name of the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha

The Celtic people say that three is a special number.  It was said that if you could harness the power of three, you could dramatically change your life.  With this in mind, they used to start their days off by saying three-pronged affirmations known as triads.  These statements could be about the particular day, or they could be about life in general.  The three statements in a triad would be positive and not negative.  For example:

1.  I am committed to the teachings of the Buddha.  His teachings give me great happiness, creativity and excellence.
2.  I enjoy the time I spend with the girl I love.  She and I really connect and we share a lot in common.
3.  I enjoy writing.  I am getting better and better at it each day and it gives me a way to express who I am.

What is the Buddhist view towards all this?  Buddhism is about the Three Gem: the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.  Saying three affirmations at the beginning of each day is perhaps a great way to embrace the three gems in modern practice.