My 2025 in Review

 My year in review: I managed to finish the first draft for my novella. I finally took a weekend trip with friends that I planned for a while in Warrensburg. I made a lot of headway in dealing with my dissociative amnesia and finally found a mental health professional that has been helping me with it, as opposed to last year when I was seeing an inexperienced graduate student. I went on a lot of work trips. I went to a No Kings protest. I had fun cooking over twenty new recipes. I got promoted to special PI at work. I read the most books in a year since 2021. I decluttered a lot. I spent a lot of time cuddling Muggsie, my cat. I also e-mailed my senators and representatives I think every day of the year asking them to support reproductive rights acts. On top of that I was glad to learn that Zohran Mamdani won the New York City mayor race, Prop 50 passed in California, three judges maintained their positions in the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, in addition to many mayors and governors race turning out favorably, while the No Kings protests have been churning out 2-3% of the country every time and growing, the Oompa-Loompa emperor has faced fierce resistance in the lower courts and federal agencies, after losing the Nobel Peace Prize and facing losses in terms of the New Pope and Canadian Prime Minister, and lap-dog Johnson has faced revolts from his own party in the House. At the moment, my New Year’s resolution is to continue enjoying work much like I have done before, stay involved in our political process - voting, attending No Kings protest - and continuing to keep working on dealing with my memory loss and uncovering everything I can about events in my life seventeen years ago.

My 2024 in Review

 My year in review:

I bought a house; started going to the Kansas Zen Center in Lawrence, the first Buddhist temple I've been to in at least ten years; did a lot to work through my memory loss, figuring out a lot about times in my life from over fifteen years ago that I had little to no recollection of for most of that time, even saw briefly, though this person turned out to be less than (or maybe about what) I expected on pretty much every front, someone at the KU Counseling Center, who didn't help with the issue or anything I brought to her, except she did help me to focus on my writing for a short while, and I made some significant headway in that area as a result of it; I combatted my anxiety even more; I walked over 3.65 million steps, getting an average of 10,000 a day; I took daily journaling about my life back up again, which I hadn't been doing for over three years, I got inspired to take my flute-playing back up after buying a bamboo flute during my trip to the Renaissance Fair; I've stepped back a little bit from my role I've taken in the Kansas City League of Autistics after four years, and it seems will do a lot of what I used to do for it, which is now going to be Neurodiverse KC, in junction with my job at the KU Center on Disabilities; I've been asked by my good friend and fellow disability rights activist Philip McGruder to continue the leading of the student community he founded at KU many years ago, Believe Autism Matters, which with the help of the KUCD Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging Committee, I can do until the group has a more permanent government to allow it to do what it has done for years; I traveled to many places for work, Topeka, Sacrament, Newport, Kentucky, and Cincinnati; I e-mailed my senator and representatives almost every day to ask them to support abortion rights; I've donated to the Texas Equal Access Abortion Fund nearly every week since about the beginning of July; and after doing so much spelling out of messages with letters at Hobby Lobby that are contrary to their ideology for so many years, I finally got banned by corporate from doing it; besides that, I did make the choice to take some toxic people off my Facebook/out of my life, of whom I really should have done that to a long time ago and never even had them there to begin with, but I made new friends and reconnected with some old ones; I also happened to look back at one novella I thought I'd finished, only to find a couple of necessary passages missing and do much needed proofreading on it and other writing projects; and I finished the year strong by selling a bookmark I made from one of my dad's business cards to the wife of one of his former clients; finishing reading a novel and a graphic novel I started as well as the TV show I was watching, getting rid of some last minute dust, making sure all my plastic bag recycling had been taken to the grocery store, cleaning out Muggsie's food cup and scooping his litter box, one last load of laundry, and doing a lot of decluttering of my house and car, and laying the grounds to declutter more in the future.

My goal for next year: write and illustrate my prose and graphic novel stories, building on the momentum I've gained this year and work more in working through my memory loss, reaching out to people who would be able to give me information; read books that I want to read and also may very well help me with my writing; practice my flute; and get my blood pressure down so I can give blood, for various reasons, by going on overnight trips to Missouri and Kansas towns with the friends I've traveled with like I planned to this year, cuddling Muggsie, my cat, spend time with friends, watching some shows and movies, walking a lot, and doing some cooking and crocheting that I had planned to do with the new time I now have, since more Neurodiverse KC stuff will be through work. On the political front, I plan to first, remember what Judy, one of the teachers at the Kansas Zen Center said, not to catastrophize, mentioning how refugees from Laos avoided the Laotian army and Vietnamese boat people avoided pirates by staying calm, and to work to ensure our freedoms are protected through several lines of defense - courts, media, and cities and states - strengthen the defenses autistic and marginalized people have in Lawrence, Kansas, and Missouri through helping Neurodiverse KC and Believe Autism Matters, reach out and cultivate alliances with oppressed groups around the world to help the cause of our democracy and civil rights, continue writing to my legislators, give to abortion funds what I can as I see the need and potential, join protests and events in Lawrence and, if none are there, in Kansas City, and also work to support the businesses in my area that are threatened by tariffs as well as the post office by buying things I will use (juice for my smoothies, snacks for watching TV with, cooking supplies), like postage stamps that I have on and off again maintained a collection of, which includes those that belonged to my great-grandfather to me year ago, and I plan to be there to give morale and strength and provide other support people through the next year of the hooded Oompa-loompa's presidency. Goodbye, 2024.

My 2023 in Review

 My year in review: though it was the year I lost my dad to cancer and my granddad to Parkinson's, it was also a year where I got promoted from research aide to assistant researcher at work, went with my friends, Tyler and Kevin to spend a weekend in St. Joseph, Missouri, went with several work people and friends to an Association of University Centers on Disability in Washington, D.C, e-mailing my senators and representatives almost every day of the year asking them to support abortion rights, and doing a lot to fight my anxiety, among other things. My resolution for the new year: look at finding a townhouse or a condo in Lawrence, enjoy trips in Kansas or Missouri an hour away from Kansas City with friends, work on finishing a couple of the books I started this year in addition to some of the ones on my reading list, continue to work toward finishing a few novels and stories I have started on, continue my journey in dealing with my memory loss, and do what I can to stop a president or Congress who are either Trump or someone who would pardon him for his crimes or sign any kind of national abortion ban from coming to power. Happy New Year, everybody!

My 2022 in Review

The highlights of my year: the one-year anniversary of starting my job as a research aide at the Kansas University Center on Developmental Disabilities; moving to Lawrence, Kansas; going to Washington, D.C. with KUCDD for the annual Association of University Centers on Disabilities, where I met disabled rights activists Liz Weintrub and Emily Ladau; went on another overnight weekend trip with Tyler and Kevin; came up with and started on several new novels in addition to gauging my prospects of finishing and hopefully publishing them in the new future, and finished the first draft of a novella; discovered more about my memory loss of events from thirteen years ago and resolved to find an EMDR specialist in Lawrence to help me uncover more of the chapters of my live that I lost my access to; and, though Roe vs. Wade was overturned by six judges appointed by presidents who lost the popular vote, Kansas struck down an amendment that would have allowed further suppression of abortion in the state, kept its governor and judges that will honor the Kansas constitution's position that abortion is a right, and anti-choice Republicans failed to take the Senate and an overwhelming House majority necessary for a national abortion ban.

My New Year's resolution: finish a few of the books I started on in the last two years, continue writing a new of my novels to get a sense of the possibility of finishing and publishing at least one of them, and find and work with an EMDR specialist in Lawrence to uncover more of the lost memories of things I experienced many years ago. Here's to a new year, everyone!

A Serious Message to My Fellow Buddhists Out there

    With the leak of the Supreme Court document that casts the future of abortion rights in a very fragile place, I want to say this to every Buddhist/Buddhist practitioner reading this. I have seen a number of fellow Buddhists in reading their works, of all sects, all cultures, all backgrounds, launching attacks on abortion and the right to have one, even calling it murder. I have read this in the work by teachers and scholars, and I just want to say one thing: stop it!

    I know many who wrote those things come from cultural backgrounds I am not a part of. Some of them also come from my own white, upper/middle class Judeo-Christian origin background. Regardless, if this message enters into the eyes and ears of American people whose right to abortion now looks like it's very much going to be up to state's decision, I want to say that this post is about you, and I want to say that I will take a stand in this.

    How did Buddhists get to this place? I honestly don't know. I blame much of what is about to happen to abortion rights on white, Evangelical, conservative Christians, but I am not about to stop (what I believe is), isolated incidences of Buddhist writers attacking abortions and bringing the Dharma's name into this!

    I get it: one of the Buddhist precepts is Do Not Destroy Life, but seriously! Number one, he Buddha never said, as far as I am aware, that a fetus is life. Many, in fact most, Buddhists still eat meat (including myself). Why can't these teachers attack that like they have made statements on abortion rights. Second, presuming abortion is taking a life (which is, in my mind, just aa distraction from the real issue regarding abortion rights), the Buddha did say that killing could be justified. Are you all about to take a time machine, go to Tibet, and tell all the Tibetan people, monks included, who took up arms that they can't use weapons against genocidal Maoists?! Many of these soldiers are just following orders (not that that is an acceptable excuse after all), and honestly, Lord Buddha never made much statements on what killing (presuming abortion is that) is acceptable and what is not. And really, if you're a Buddhist and you're drinking alcohol, a lot of Buddhists would say you should just shut up

    A lot of American Buddhists I have found, are quite liberal people. We believe in the right to marry, we don't support putting people in jail for smoking marijuana, the thought of a woman president really doesn't bother us. But when I look at (really just a few writers, but still) any Buddhist that has maligned abortion (and the overwhelmingly poor, disabled people and people with serious medical conditions, and those who can't have a child because they will die if they do who have them), I am reminded of one thing: the problems of American Buddhism is rooted in the problems of America. I am not pointing fingers at American Buddhists in particular. Tibetan, Thai, Chinese, French, and every other cultural form of Buddhism have problems rooted in the country they are practiced in. But American Buddhists need to reckon with how the flaws of American society and culture have seeped into our communities and ourselves. Our sanghas our often very racially segregated. Buddhists of Asian descent are just casually erased by Prius-driving, Upper Middle Way Buddhists. Poor people are driven away because they can't afford the costs of meditation retreats or Dharma talks. As an autistic, I have often felt very uncomfortable in largely neurotypical Buddhist groups and many NT Buddhists as well. But why am I saying this? Because when Buddhists, and Americans of all faiths, from hegemonic backgrounds don't see such people, they do not see people who are affected most by the attacks on abortion taking place across the country.

    Unlike the movement for Blacks Americans' rights, indigenous peoples' movements, feminism, and the disability rights movement, the Pro-Life (generous name, but ok) movement is not about standing up to the powerful. Rather, it has been about attacking vulnerable and threatened people whose vulnerability and threats are the whole reason they have abortions in the first place!

    My religion that I have practiced seventeen years asks me that I do whatever I can to help people, to bring comfort to those who are without it, to give those shedding tears as much reason to smile and rejoice from emotions as strong as their pain. I write this post to show that I am not going to stand against the attacks against abortion from Buddhists in comfortable positions. I do this to bring attention to what has been done in my community and the hypocrisy behind it that runs through the very core of the Pro-Forced birth movement. I might stir things up in the Buddhist world, but when you're cooking something, stirring things up is the only way anything gets done.

My 2021 in Review

 The high points of my year, while there were some lousy lows, this year I: got my COVID vaccine, ditched a toxic therapist, got a new job as a research aide at the Kansas University Center on Developmental Disabilities, ended up having my apartment to myself and my cat, finished several short stories and the first draft of a novella minus a title and an author's note, started on a novel that I have made a plan to finish by next year, got my COVID booster and flu shot, asked a person out for the first time in two years, even though I got rejected, and got involved with An Evening with the Rents to raise money for Camp Encourage that serves autistic people ages 8-18. My New Year's Resolution: continue to acclimate to my new job, find an outlet for several of my short stories, find a way to publish my novella, finish my novel, spend time with the people I care about most, let my friends (at least the ones I see in real life) in on parts of my life that I haven't let them in on before, limit my activities outside of work and other obligations more when it is good and conceivable, and check my outline on the things that are my day-to-day life.

My 2020 in Review

My year in review: getting an apartment with my middle brother as my roommate; finishing a second term of service as a VISTA for UMKC’s Propel program; finishing the KUMC Leadership and Education in Neurodevelopmental and Related Disabilities (LEND) certificate program; reforming and organizing the Kansas City League of Autistics, an advocacy organization that had not been active for over two years; walking almost every day I’m not working and losing at least ten pounds; adopting a kitten from KC Pet Project; finishing several of my short stories and submitting one to six different fiction magazines, with five rejecting me and one I haven’t heard back from; working on a novel everyday for at least three months hoping this time to actually finish it by the end of May next year and submit it to publishers; taking back my old job for the time being bagging at the grocery store while also being trained and working as a backup cashier until I find a more permanent job; getting in touch with old friends from high school; supporting people I care about who have been laid off during shutdowns; and that’s not to mention Biden winning the electoral vote and the discovery of a Coronavirus vaccine. My New Year’s Resolution (not that I have to wait until the new year to do this): finish my novel, finish several more short stories and get them accepted by magazines, and sell my crafts on Etsy. A new challenge lies ahead.

2Jed Shredwards and Lejohn-art Caldwell-roddy

Autism Acceptance Month 2020

Well, even if it is quarantine season for me and many others across the country, it is still Autism Acceptance Month for me and the actually autistic community and allies starting tomorrow, Autism Awareness Month for those who believe the false prophets of Autism Speaks and similar organizations, a time wear those pushing for Autism Acceptance wear gold, red, taupe, orange, green, and purple for acceptance-since the chemical symbol for gold Au is the first two letters of the work "Autistic," and wear those promoting "Awareness" wear blue due to Autism Speaks still mostly blue puzzle piece symbol (the puzzle piece being abhorred by proud autistics) made on the rapidly discredited idea that their are four boys with autism for every girl, a belief that has robbed many women, girls, and non-binary autistic individuals a chance at services and a better life, leading to anorexia, bilumnia, and suicide of many women, girls, and non-binary folks, some who I have known personally. So enough if the only places I can go are gorcery stores, take-out restaurants, my mom's house, and the Mission Hills courthouse to clear a traffic ticket, I will, as I have done for the last five years, abstain from wearing blue except for the rainbow infinity autistic symbol, and wear gold, red, taupe, orange, green, and purple to promote an antidote and alternative to the thinkinng that leads a disproportionate number of autistic and disabled individuals in poverty, unemployment, prisons-despite a being less likely then non-disabled people to commit crimes, whether at home or not. Happy Autism Acceptance Month!

My Past Year in Review

As the first month is almost out, I remember what was brought by last year, namely, a new job, renewing my contract as a VISTA worker for the University of Missouri-Kansas City's Propel Program, selling several of my crafts, making a new friend from the autistic community in my area, and coming up with my new novel series, which I am rather fond of. I hope this year to finally start an Etsy account, finish some of my stories, and sell them to magazines, maybe even finish my first book of stories.

My 2018 in Review

My year's highlights: starting my new job, finishing one of my stories, starting working as a resident advisor for the 2018-2019 school year and having my own place for the time, donating some of my old stuff to Scraps KC, my mom's and stepdad's now home that they moved into, continuing to work on my graphic novel illustration, finishing several of my books, and a few other things that I will save mention of for later. My resolution for the new year: bring my lunches to work more often, maybe try selling my crafts on-line, and find a magazine to publish two of the stories I wrote. Happy New Year.

The Country of Autistic People

Imagine for a moment

A country for just autistic people,

NT and allistics citizens through marriage or birthright,

But still a place all to ourselves.

 

Imagine people being allowed to walk around freely at gatherings, meetings, and events,

No stimming repression or forced eye contact.

Imagine no alarms or bells that hurt our ears,

Bookstores, television shows, and movies all with accurate and positive representation of autistic characters.

 

Imagine less than ten percent autistic unemployment,

No one forcing you to wear the tags on clothing,

Your food sensitivities are respected everywhere you go,

No forcing you to socialize when you are so low on energy.

 

Imagine that “special interests” were not suppressed,

Where autistics do not have six times the national average suicide rate,

Domestic violence is not a disproportional issue,

No person wearing a puzzle piece, lighting blue lights, comparing having an autistic child to being a combat veteran.

 

Universities are packed with students using fidget spinners, chewy necklaces, etc.

No college professors spreading lies and disinformation about autistics,

Maybe the rate of autistics with epilepsy, social anxiety, depression, and PTSD is less than it is in the world we know,

Health care is what socially hegemonic neurotypicals have come to know.

 

Picture a world where it was not unusual for a child to go to an autistic in a divorce proceeding,

Therapy is not eight hours a day inside being taught to hate and repress yourself for external reward.

Picture a place like the on-line groups we know and love,

But offline, with houses, cafes, schools, hospitals, banks, post offices, and government buildings.

 

Maybe an observatory like the Space Needle, Fernsehturn Berlin, Oriental Pearl Tower,

Sovereign building like the White House or Buckingham Palace,

Business and communication centers like Sears and Willis Tower, the Empire State Building, the Hancock Center,

Bridges, theaters, architectural monuments.

 

Ok, not really a possibility.

Not a place where nothing ever goes wrong.

No injustice ever happening the way it does when society is mostly NTs.

But I would like to see all races, faiths, sexual orientations with business and government done in dozens and dozens of languages.

 

Maybe it is not a really possibility,

But sometimes, when times are tough, it is nice to have a place to escape to,

If only in your mind.

7 Television Show Ideas About Autism the Television Industry Should Consider Making

Let’s face it: Atypical, The Good Doctor, and Sesame Street have peaked in terms of autistic representation. Most of these have become face-value stereotypes and draw a lot of controversy from the autistic community for making autism the butt of a joke in addition to failing to cast autistic actors to play autistic characters. While some of them did make some effort to reach out to autistic people for consultation (Sesame Street did contact the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, an autistic-approved, autistic-run organization) these shows portrayals of autistic individuals are informed mostly by groups like Autism Speaks—whose message about autism is toxic on every level—and groups like Talk About Curing Autism, the National Autism Association, the Autism Research Institute, and the Autism Society of America—whose views are similarly problematic. Besides that, these shows reached out to parents, siblings and family members of autistic people (whose views can be extremely myopic)—not autistic people themselves. If these shows were to do that with any other minority, they would certainly draw criticism from the public.

                So, instead of shows that are vaguely and inconsistently informed by non-autistics, what about shows derived from sources that are shaped by autistics at every level? I’m talking about comic books, autobiographies, books and other media by autistic people, about autistic people. They could have moments that make us laugh and cry, as well as shed light on autistic relationships (including LGBTQIA people). Some would be fiction, semi-fiction, and some could be real-life as well, similar to FX making The Assassination of Gianni Versaci and Trust: a Getty’s Family Saga. Assuming said owners of this sources would be willing to have a show adaptation (or movie) I had these few ideas in mind:

 

The Life of an Aspie

 

Not to be confused with The Life of an Aspie blog by activist Alyssa Marie Huber (which is fantastic, and Alyssa has a novel Vael that would make a fantastic TV show as well), this is an online comic done by autistic Twitter personality Aspi3Gam3r about a sixteen-year-old orphaned autistic teenage girl who sent to a Japanese boarding school run by her grandmother. The comic includes the grandmother trying to be a good guardian to the girl (named Susan Graham) while stopping her granddaughter’s behavior from damaging her career. It also includes Susan taking lessons in Manga comic drawing, her relationship with her sixteen year-old roommate and learning to resolve her issues with the school’s counselor. Unlike Aspi3Gam3r’s Twitter page (which often shows heated political opinions), The Life of an Aspie is very non-political and is something many autistics could relate to. Here’s one show that could have a female character and possibly challenge the stereotype in the media that autistic individuals are always plain-looking or unattractive.

Born on a Blue Day

 

Based on the autobiography Born on a Blue Day by British autistic savant Daniel Tammet, this show could show the existence of autistic savants without making the same mistakes that Rain Man did. As a main character, Tammet could also give a voice to living with epilepsy. Falling more under the category of drama, the show could depict the feelings of Daniel’s family as he goes off to Lithuania, since all parents, regardless of their nationality worry about their children going off to foreign countries. Daniel’s character would also be a break from the portrayal of autism in the media, which seems to mostly show heterosexual characters too.

Conspiracy of Birds

 

Written by autistic Trevor McKee, Conspiracy of Birds is a comic series about the adventures of a character very much like the author that demonstrate the bizarreness of social rules and expectations. This could be an opportunity for a show with light-hearted hi-jinx that also forces neurotypical audience members to be more open-minded and respectful of autistic traits.

Look Me in the Eye, by John Elder Robison

 

While Robison is the center of controversy among some autistics for a few of his viewpoints (most recently his support of TMS Therapy for autism), this show could give light to older autistics who are severely ignored by the media (Robison did not get diagnosed until he was thirty-nine years old, twenty-one years ago), and could have anecdotes about living with autism relatable to most autistics. This TV series could also include stories from one of Robison’s other memoirs Raising Cubby about fathering his son with an autistic woman, and serve to dispel the myth that autistics can’t be good parents. A compelling episode that might be a possibility for this series could focus on Robison’s resignation from Autism Speaks in 2013 to protest their continued backwards ways, which attracted a lot of publicity, and delivered a serious blow to AS’s reputation.

Growing Up Aspie-A Comic by Nathan McConnell

A widely popular published hit in the autistic community, Growing Up Aspie is a series of comic strips the author dealing with his childhood and young adulthood as an autistic. In addition to sometimes making you laugh, these strips have an amazing ability to make you feel the pain the McConnell feels due to being discriminated for being autistic. Whoever makes this idea into a show might also consider portraying the NTs in McConnell’s life the way he draws them: as phantom-like creatures in reference to how they force on him a social standard that he can never life up to, however hard he tries. This series could also show the love story between McConnell and his wife, Candace, and their first child born as the book was being published. Some story lines about interactions with in-laws could be good too.

The Rosie Project

 

Though this source (a novel) is written by a non-autistic—Australian author Graeme Simsion—its portrayals of autism bare some merit. The novel follows Don Tillman, an autistic professor (something I can relate to, since I work at a university) and his experience in love with a bipolar woman, Rosie. There is a sequel to this book that the movie could cover—not to give too much about the story away, although it has been out for several years. Originally, it was set to be a movie starring Ryan Reynolds and Jennifer Lawrence, though Lawrence, angered that she was being discriminated against in pay due to her gender, quit the project and wrote an article about it to Lena Dunham’s “Lenny Letter.” Due to her experiences, JLaw may not wish to have a role in a television adaptation of the novel, but that does not mean this sort of series couldn’t be made.

Michael McCreary-Aspie Comic comedy-based sitcom

 

Michael McCreary is a twenty-year-old autistic comedian with a huge social media following who has long been disproving the stereotype that autistics don’t have a sense of humor. In the same way Seinfeld made a show based off his comedy antics, it might be funny to see McCreary be the center of a show based around his own comedy routine.

Plus+…an Extended Universe TV Series about Harry Potter’s Hermione Granger

 

While Hermione has never been verified to be an autistic character, I have heard from several autistics who say that she demonstrates many characteristics of Asperger syndrome herself. A series could follow Hermione before Hogwarts, where she is a doubly-marked girl in a British muggle school both for her autism and the fact that, like all young witches and wizards, she makes things happen that she can’t explain, particularly when she is angry or scared. Fast-forward to her time at Hogwarts showing the events of the books from Hermione’s perspective, the wizarding view of neurodiverse people (surely there are autistic and non-neurotypical witches and wizards in the Harry Potter universe—no jokes about Ron, please), and her shifting back-and-forth between wizard and muggle cultures as a muggle-born witch. Fast-forward to her adult years. Can you get a diagnosis from wizarding professionals? Imagine how hard it could be for Hermione to get a diagnosis from a muggle doctor without letting slip that she is a witch and exposing the wizarding world, on top of trying to get a diagnosis as a woman and an adult (and possibly a Black British woman, as seen in the fan-made show Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis). The show could also deal with Hermione’s revelations of how she is (why she kissed Harry in public, was stubborn about rules despite frequently breaking them, and why she was always willing to do Harry’s and Ron’s homework) and her regrets from her life during the Wizarding War, her life as a politician, wife, and mother, and her struggle to say the right thing to survivors of the Wizarding War as Minister of Magic, in comforting her husband Ron and other in-laws over the death of his brother Fred, and in trying to explain to her children the tragedies of the Wizarding War. In addition, the show could provide story lines about quack wizards who hawk fake magical cures for autism, in the same way doctors peddle fake cures for autism in the “muggle” world, leading to attempts to capture them and subsequent wizard duels with aurors Harry and Ron. And being autistic, a woman, and muggle-born, Hermione is a triple+-minority, and that could add a good angle to Hermione’s post-war story as she campaigns for the rights of house elves. Also, does Hogwarts provide accommodations for learning-disabled students? This could be another subplot in the story of fulfilling the post-Wizarding War promise of accepting all wizards.

Autism Acceptance Month 2018

For some this is coming April is Autism Acceptance Month where people wear gold (whose chemical symbol is Au the first two letters of Autism), red, taupe, orange, and green, donate to autistic-led non-profit organizations such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, the Autism Women's Network, the Autistic Union, and so on; hold stim sessions to educate people on the meaning of repetitive behaviors in autistics; and read, write, and share poetry, blog posts, art, articles, and personal stories from Autistics, their allies, educators, parents, family, and specialists in celebration of autistics and the unique strengths they have and gifts they bring to the world without denying their challenges they and their loved ones experience as a result of social pressures and internalized biases.
To others this Autism Awareness Month, spear-headed by neurotypical, high executive-paying groups such as Autism Speaks whose focus is on genetic research, compare autistics to car wrecks, cancer, and being struck by lightning; and of their executives, only two are autistic in the thirteen years of AS's existence. This is celebrated by wearing blue and lighting blue lights in reference to Autism Speaks' blue puzzle piece logo that is blue in reference to males who AS and similarly medical-modeled autism organizations cite at face value make up eighty percent of autism diagnoses, with females only twenty, despite increasing evidence that autistic traits manifest differently in males and females with diagnostic criteria on autism possessing far more understanding of male's traits than females.

Furthermore, many autistic people reject the puzzle piece for a number of reasons. Not only are puzzles usually made in primary colors-suggesting autism is only a childhood thing or that all autistics need to be judged on their supposed mental age-but refers to finding a "missing piece" both a cure, and the "normal" child inside an autistic person that the cure will free from the cage of our autistic behavior and shell.


But despite what Autism Speaks says I am not a person plus Autism. Autism is not an addition to my personhood or me. It is a valid way of being a person that no one has a right to make me hide or get rid before I can be truly accepted. If I were truly accepted I would not have to change my neurological wiring just as I would not have to change my race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or nationality first.


Society deemed that autistic people had some "normal" (neurotypical) child hidden beneath the surface, autistics ended up spending hours in therapy each week to try and teach us to be neurotypical, which only ended up hindering autistic's development of self-esteem and self-awareness, and merely increased the feelings of isolation therapy was meant to alleviate. We spent our lives, childhood to adulthood, trying to get tone of voice, eye contact, body language, and facial expressions right when interacting with NTs, who judged us as different before we even spoke to or communicated with them. We get old to be ourselves, but rebuffed the instant a crack shows up in our mask. No matter how much therapy we got or how early we received it, autistic people always faced higher suicide rates, higher rates of depression, and greater instances of addiction than the general population. Our peers and our families failed to recognize that the responsibility of stress of ourselves and our loved ones lay in in us being they way we are, but the larger world's bias against it and being engrained in thinking that actively prevented them from accommodating it.
When my autistic kin, allies, and I celebrate Autism Acceptance Month this year it is more than a celebration whitewashing autism. It is a rebellion. I, together with millions of autists across the globe, posit that social progress does not move in the same direction as societies ills. As I have done for the previous two Aprils and the last twenty-four days of the April before them, plan to wear no blue for the entire month from 12:00 AM on April 1 to 11:59 PM on April 30, with the exception of my rainbow-colored Autism Acceptance Month shirt, which I will hit places all over Kansas City on both sides of the Kansas City border, Lee's Summit, and UMKC in my hours off the clock. But besides that anything that has blue I will not don. I have planned out my clothes for work to do so already and made plans to get new clothes to help me do so.


If you choose not to go this far, that is fine. I am just saying this so you all will know what I am doing and why I am doing it. I am not litmus-testing. If you do choose to do this, great! Do whatever you can do to avoid wearing blue. Let's make Autism Acceptance Month 8 a month worth remembering. 

My 2017 in Review

The highlights of my year: finishing my schooling (graduate certificate in Disability Studies at University of Missouri-Kansas City, co-teaching Disability History and Culture to UMKC's Propel students for post-secondary students with disabilities, spending nearly every day of the last six months illustrating my graphic novel, and starting to illustrate to others, finishing one of my short stories that I plan to find a literary magazine for, making my new key bowls from old receipts, and going to the Autism Society-The Heartland's AWARE Game Nights 18+ for Adults with Autism. Also continuing my long, cherished friendships, and meeting new friends, working at my second job and making money, making more progress on my novels and stories, progressing through in and finishing reading many of my books, and finishing new watercolor drawings in my art class. Also I might be finding new work next year that I am still looking into. My New Year's Resolution: I just cannot think of any at the moment. Staying strong, thinking of the people who mean most to me, and living my life every minute, pleasant and unpleasant.

Autism Acceptance Month 2017

Ben Edwards updated his cover photo.

· 42 mins ·

Tomorrow is the first day of April, which, for some out there, is Autism Awareness Month with blue lights, clothes, and other decor, but for me, and others out in the autistic world, it is Autism Acceptance Month, as of the past six years, which is associated with gold, red, taupe, orange, and green. For us, blue and awareness tend to be associated with medically-modeled groups on autism, such as Autism Speaks, which unfortunately, has raised money (of which only 3 to 4% tends to go to autism services every year-the bulk in advertising, genetic research, and corporate salaries) by comparing autistic people to car wrecks and being struck by lightning, and of their twelve year existence, only in the last two were there autistics on their board, and only two-Stephen Shore and Valerie Paradiz. I have nothing wrong with these two individuals, certainly. I saw Stephen Shore speak at Johnson County Community College and thought he was wonderful, and I have heard well of Paradiz and am sure her work is top notch. I am sure neither of these people accepted their positions lightly, but that is not enough to turn around an organization, which, only months after finally appointing two autistics, endorsed Donald Trump in the 2016 election-the man who mocked a disabled reporter on live television and believes vaccinations cause autism despite twenty years of overwhelming evidence. Blue, moreover, signifies AS's puzzle piece logo, already a red flag for representing autism and autistics as something to be put together rather than fitting together naturally, but is blue due to the notion that autism is more prevalent in boys than in girls, despite diagnostic criteria having a heavy male bias where autistic females are diagnosed much later than their male counterparts, particularly in low-income areas and rural communities, that they have been called "research orphans." Gold, on the other hand, is there because its chemical symbol Au is the first two letters of the word 'autistic,' and red, orange, taupe, and green symbolize other autistic symbols, such as a heart and spark of the Celebrate Autism Foundation, and promoted by groups with heavy board and membership autistic representation, large portions of income to autistic services, and positive representation of our abilities, such as the Academic Autism Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education, the Global and Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership, the Autistic Union, the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, and the Autism Women's Network. And for everyday of April, I will wear NO BLUE WHATSOEVER (except in my rainbow color Autism Acceptance Month shirt), but plenty of gold, red, taupe, orange, and green. I started doing this two years ago six days into April while still an undergraduate student at the University of Central Missouri, and did it all month long last year, and this year I will do it again. And let me tell, I do it to the letter.  The photo on this post is my new Facebook album cover.

Now, I have heard, on awareness versus acceptance, that awareness is necessary for acceptance. I am indeed for awareness (as in understanding autistic behaviors roles in processing and resulting from environmental factors), but let me put it this way. Imagine you are buying a bookshelve to assemble from IKEA (I know, I'm sorry) and awareness is the screws, while acceptance is the wood. You would not keep ordering tons and tons of screws and no wood hoping it could create a full shelf. Acceptance implies awareness. We have enough awareness, but awareness is not enough.
You can celebrate Autism Acceptance Month in many ways: art, poetry, donating to financially accountable charities, telling stories of yourself or others in your life who are autistic (as long as you do things like not telling private information against their wishes), and other things. There are limitless ways you can celebrate Autism Acceptance Month. April 2nd is Autism Acceptance Day, as opposed to Autism Awareness Day.

One last note: I know that many of you out there wear blue and celebrate Autism Acceptance Month because you care about a loved one or people out there, and I care that you care. If I did not, I would not be writing or doing this all. All I am asking is for all to consider that activism can go in wrong directions, and we as people can correct it. If you do not end up agreeing with me, I know at least that I can teach you something, and you all in return, many be able to teach me.

 

World Down Syndrome Day 2017

Today is World Down Syndrome Day, and at this point, I have to say I cannot help but remember my good friend, year-long roommate, and friend and "disability brother" Tyler Weekly. I would have a photo collage of all our selfies and pictures from our trip to Florida together if not for technological issues, but I will have it, and I will say that I (and all our number of great mutual friends) remember all that he is-the guy who I go to see movies where works at AMC in Olathe ...and can get me in-and then teases me when I cry during Passengers, how we spend nights watching plays at Starlight Theater where he is an usher captain, how he will spend the night while we watch The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, and I will read him some of the books of Buddhist legends and folk tales I have and share with him stories from the autistic people, get to see him at the Spring Down Syndrome prom every year, who I saw Dr. Strange, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Moana, The Accountant, Sing, The Great Wall, The Lego Batman Movie, and Hidden Figures-for which I still have all the ticket stubs, and how he will always dream big, challenge me to go on with whatever I am doing, and, above all, remind me of why I love life so much. Seeing him will make me so glad that all the progress for people with Down syndrome that has happened and all that is in the process of happening, as well as that with autistic people and those with other disabilities.

The Past 2016 For Me

My year in brief, not withstanding the 2016 presidential election: starting to write for the first time in years and create dozens ideas my own for new novels, graphic novels, short stories, and fairy tales, most of them involving autistic and disabled characters, and, unlike with most stories portraying characters with said abilities, have well-rounded characters, distinct motivations and personas, and so on, who are not the only one if their kind in a world where autistics flat-out look like oddities, and even have their distinct cultural identity of their own autistic brethren, even to the point where neurotypicals actually begin to look like oddities. Like Shakespeare, Homer, and the Brothers Grimm, my stories do tend to be somewhat retellings of disability stories-from video games, artwork, internet memes, history, mythology, adaptations of classic stories, and even bits and pieces of old novels here and there from Neuroatypical authors-but with imagination, descriptive powers, imagery, and drawing from experiences that I happy to possess. This is the year also where I received A's in two of my graduate Disability Studies classes at UMKC, the other class from 2015 being one where I got a B, which brings my UMKC GPA to roughly 3.7. I have also started the process creating a distinct on-line video game involving people with disabilities that should appeal to a wide range of on-line gamers, and gotten some career breaks in UMKC's new Disability Propel program, the Missouri Developmental Disability Council, UMKC's Facing Project, writing disability-related articles, and so on. In addition, I have become more positive about finding romantic relationships, and made incredible headway in doing so (young disabled activist/scholar's lives can be incredibly lonely sometimes), gotten together more often with some of my close friends from over the years, seen former teachers and influences; finished over ten books I had gotten it was reading and over seventy graphic novels from other authors; worked thirty-two to forty hour work weeks most weeks depending on my course load; made over two hundred discarded produce bags worth of plarn with my own two hands and scissors; made several new environmentally repurposed crafts, drawings, and over a dozen new watercolors with my art teacher, Donna; and meet others with genuine interest and support of autistic and Neuroatypical people from around the country and around the world through close friends of mine. I was also wise enough to gently leave a former friend who I learned was talking about me behind my back and even went on long, unending rants at me on my own personal posts, that are no longer on those threads; and I happened to lose my cat Peter, who was nineteen, had arthritis, mostly blind and deaf, losing control of his bodily functions, and gave me so much love and support over the past years. Through all these things that I have said, I continue to be inspired by the stories others have told me, including fictional ones, and tell mine in the hopes you all will realize the power your own have. I have also happened to uncover more plots and devices affecting autistic people from self-aggrandizing groups and people who I have dealt with before as far back as Warrensburg and JCCC as recently as my lunch break yesterday afternoon.

My New Year's Resolution: hold close to the people who best understand me and support me, judging for myself who those people are, and learn to quit going out of my way to accomodate those who cannot understand me or accommodate me as well, kindly yet firmly if I can, whether they be family, friends, or caring individuals, I will know when the time comes; not bother when one cannot understand why I am the way I am or do things my way, not to keep being the one to pay each and every time they make the same mistake. History has taught me how a smaller, not larger number of people have changed the course of the world for the better, and when it comes to friends and allies, it IS QUALITY, not quantity that matters, never mind money, influence, or political backing. I know there are others who do not want to see me suffer, but they can stubborn and obtuse also, and I refuse to be weighed down by them any longer.

International United Nations Peoples with Disabilities Day

Today is the United Nations International Peoples with Disabilities Day. I can only back and think of all that has taken place in my life over the years. I realize that I wish for a world where the norm across people of all abilities is to respect people with disabilities twenty-four/seven/three hundred sixty-five, no holidays, no breaks, no vacations, nothing-without neurotypical temporarily able-bodied people feeding their need to be part of the solution without taking charge of their actions or still seeing themselves as the center of this world. Non-disabled people certainly dominate this world in numbers, and socio-economically, but they claim no patent to being a norm, and I genuinely believe that the age of NT/TAB people is ending, if it even took place once, and the age of people of all abilities is unveiling itself. I believe no action is a mistake when its harmful implications have been demonstrated to its maker, and EVERY person who would give their most genuine needs to conduct themselves in everything regarding disabled people upright consistently with no reward, and I do NOT think I am asking too much. Disrepsecting our differences is disrespecting us, all of us, whether you mean to or not.

And to NT/TAB supporters of Donald Trump, I ask this. On behalf disabled people: if you ever want us to be there in your life, think of the man you have supported, think of what he want cause, mocking a reporter with a disability in such a way that you cannot turn away-that is beside the point ultimately-we will ask, when anything and everything related to Trump's irreparably retrograde and old world view of disabled people has been unleashed on us, where were you? Where were you when this absolutely 1952 thinker on disabled people was placed in charge of our affairs? I believe in second chances, and I believe in ways to work things out, but if you ever think any of us ought to help you when you need us, we can ask you whether or not you were there for us. If not, we can ask you when we do not choose to help you, how are you any better than your idea of ourselves. And anyone there for us conditionally is not someone I feel compelled to help. If you cannot care about EVERY disabled person who is important to me, you cannot care about me. So we can ask you one day, where were you? Food for thought. You genuinely never know when you might need someone in your life.