For the last four years I’ve gotten to experience the
perception of autistic and disabled people in a collegiate community with
educators, staff, social facilities, and people my own age. One day when I look back, I’ll remember
everything, the good and the bad; the things that would flatter my university
and the things that won’t. Disability is
certainly talked about a lot in our society no doubt, mostly (varying from case
to case) by able-bodied, seeing, hearing, neurotypicals. Disabled people talk are merely just speaking
on behalf of able-led groups in things for themselves. Much of everyday student’s commitments to
disability rights simply reminds me of the movement of offset rights in the
West. By paying a certain amount of
money, the credit for a tree that has already been planted is given to you. Like the indulgences of the Catholic Church,
ableds are thinking they can by their way out of ownership by hashtagging
pictures, electing pageant winners, and going to two-hour seminars, and take it
from there. People applaud themselves by
giving disabled people temporary niches in the Special Olympics and then go
back to their lives of refusing to accept us on our own merit. Large posters go around telling us to “Ban
the R-word,” yet they never seem to take claim of the words and phrases they belittle
disabled people with on a regular basis. I once talked to an autistic woman who was publicly called the
R-word. I understood her feelings were
not to be pacified, but respected for their ability to show her the injustice,
after exchanging thoughts, we both agreed: the R-word is the corsets women wore
in the 1700’s. They are not the
oppression. They are simply a symbol of
the oppression. Without undoing the
world that produced this word, we can never make meaningful change at all. But by living in the world of disabled people
for twenty-five years, I’ve found a lot of the source of our trouble beyond
bureaucratic frustrations, beyond medical confusion. They are not glamorous. They will not get one laid or paid, but they
will make you true friends even if we must leave the false, and we will also
see who they are. Without commitment,
they can never be adapted, but with genuine effort we will see what we are
fighting for. It will not change the
world overnight, but it could save lives you do not see, until the time perhaps
you wish to feel indispensable. A like,
a share, a hundred thousand dollars to promote this post will not replace following
these things. They must not be hobbies,
but habits, and I know it is a long post to read, but it will still be on this
blog tomorrow, so don’t worry about coming back. I have a “Do’s and Don’t’s
List for Disability Respect” of ten basic rules, where I have tried to use a
positive to balance the negatives, that may not cover every potential thing,
but may help you reframe them. This list
goes:
-Do not: give yourself or seek
recognition, praise, or self-promotion for treating a disabled person with
basic human respect you are just supposed to show non-disabled people. Don’t take the low-road and imply that we are
less worthy of respect because of our differences. Accepting it when you have done more than
your part to make another person’s world better is slightly different, but it
should not a) be done for personal gain, or b) to allow you to talk over or ask
something in return from us that we did not agree to.
-Do not: base your respect for
disabled people on “passing for normal.” Rather than seeing a world of diverse abilities based on them all having
to appear as part of the dominant one, learn about how disabled people should
be allowed to express and communicate their way of being rather than hide who
they are.
-Do not: EVER support or take
part in the practices of excluding, limiting, censoring, manipulating, or
subordinating the voices of disabled people on any mainstream discussion that
in any way affects their image amongst the public or affairs related to their
own lives.
-Do not: express, sympathize
with, or help to underwrite any eugenic discussion that involves eliminating,
preventing, controlling, or limiting the births of those who will be born or
grow to have disabilities. Their lives
are far more important than their abilities to accommodate to your lifestyle or
appear conducive to short-term economic effects. Instead, figure out reasonable alternatives
to organizations that support eugenics.
-Do not: base your support for
disabled education, services, and employment on projections of their sheer
economic potential. Instead, learn about
the gifts disabled people have to improve various parts of your life which are
often things that able-bodied neurotypical people struggle with or overlook
doing.
-Do not: EVER compare disabled
people’s desires for supports and accommodation with there being a sizeable
movement of people who want special treatment, having things handed to them, or
to take advantage of others. Our society
is a LONG way from that. Wake me when a
disabled person will not be moved down a waiting list for kidney transplants or
shot by police at the first sight that might suggest danger. I have yet to mention a complete lack of
diversity-ensuring measures on college campuses nationwide, guaranteed fair
trials for child custody, meaningful access to higher education, and even clean
drinking water here in the United States of America. By the time I got through a thorough list,
all my neurotypical friends would be fast asleep.
-Do not: treat disabled respect
as a mere matter of human social evolution. Stone-age tribes in Papua New Guinea and rural Mexico have centuries old
traditions of disabled inclusion, integration, and roles offered to them. Celtic tribes practicing human sacrifice had
homes set aside for severely disabled. Native American nomads invented the first forms of sign language, and
Japan has a two-hundred year old tradition of blind spirit mediums. Rather, learn about the think tanks,
ill-constructed classifications, and lack of complete study on and speaking of
disability in your own society. Please
avoid saying or implying, even literally or figuratively, that society is “figuring
things out,” or is just going to realize its mistakes as if they are hard to
figure out with high-profile openly disabled people such as Temple Grandin,
Daryl Hannah, Heather Kuzmich, Muhammad Ali, Bob Dole, Stephen King, Angelina
Jolie, John Denver, Daniel Tammot, Alexus Wineman, Lance Rice, Mike Newman, and
so many others that you will be guaranteed to all be buying contraception by
the time I’m finished. Simply do not
sugarcoat the truth about disabled injustice. It’s there. We’ve lived it. We can’t unsee it. We’re basically politicized since day one. Don’t avoid talking about it as if we can’t
hear it. Instead, just be mindful of our
feelings when these issues are discussed. That’s all. Nothing theatrical or
Shakespearish. Just plain honest,
non-idle dialogue.
-Do not: tourist-travel disabled
people’s lives to make yourself or other people feel better about your’s or
their own life. People (seemingly) mean
well by this venture, but it causes anxiety for me because it may actually
devalue disabled people’s lives. By
showing other’s that they are lucky not to live with our condition, societies
have very little accountability placed on them to protect disabled lives from
law enforcement, health professionals, teachers, spouses, and even parents, the
very people who are entrusted to protect them. Instead, learn about how disabled people can adapt comfortably and
enjoyably to their own lives without the need to be corrected or fixed.
-Do NOT: promote the idea of the
well-adjusted disabled person as 1) the model citizen, 2) the champion of
adversity, or 3) someone’s whose place is to debase or belittle struggling
disabled people or those least understood or independent
-DO: learn about the connections
and cycle of bullying and discrimination. Take a pledge to learn the right thing from the right people, never do
the wrong, and encourage others in your circle to change. Let people know that disabled respect is
important to you, and you do not take kindly to discrimination and
dehumanization. Start with yourself,
wherever you are, and make a pledge to live in a world with respect for
disabled people’s diversity, differences, feelings, and beliefs. If you agree to be mindful neurotypicals and
able-bodieds of your thoughts, words, and actions, then I agree to be mindful
of your merit in the world. If not, I cannot help you. I cannot bail you out of your
misrepresentation, whatever the cost. Learn and unlearn at your own risk, and be warned, we will expect people
to follow through on their promises to us once they have been made, and we will
know when they have been broken. Stop
trying to walk in our shoes and instead walk beside them. The time to start is now.
